woman spreading hands standing near body of water

By Letting Go Of Him, I Finally Saw My Own Worth

One day, I finally let go of my desperate hold on him, as if someone magically unlocked me from a prison cell. That day, I walked out of my self-imposed sadness and took my first breath of freedom. I looked in the mirror and felt prettier, stood taller, smiled wider, laughed louder, and became filled with endless possibilities for my future. Somehow, I kicked that door of loneliness, insecurity, abandonment, sadness, and betrayal and said one loud “FUCK YOU!” That day I saw my worth. I took control and saw a gorgeous woman staring back at me who undervalued herself for too many years.

Now I see unexplored territories in a new mind and happiness in my soul. I feel like a puppy going for a run for the first time without a leash.

Life became so much bigger than him, so much bigger than even the memories he stamped in my heart. It all made sense today. Life is in constant motion, just a blip of a movie, and now I am choosing which reel of this film to be a part of. Today I am healthy of body and mind, with no addictions, substances, disorders, or conditions keeping me from thinking clearly and embracing my thoughts. There are no limitations in my mind; I can and will achieve anything that I focus on because I can.

That’s right, I can! I can choose to go back to college, I can choose to learn a trade, I can be in my 40s and choose to start over, because I can. I may be a late bloomer, but I am still blooming. This flower took years to cultivate, and it will be magnificent. I feel creative, I feel energetic, I feel sexy and lighter as I walk into this new and delicious life. I will accomplish my goals, I will crush my desires with zero obstacles, and I will win at my life.

I am exactly where I should be in life. I am in love with me, and I no longer think about him attached to my happiness. This feels fantastic. This feels like someone took me to the door hatch of a plane and said, “Jump!” The anticipation and fear I had all these years kept me paralyzed to make that jump, and so I lived in purgatory, unable to take that leap of faith. I finally jumped out into the unknown and saw the enormous world free-falling into my desires, it was breathtaking and exhilarating.

I have a life filled with hope. I have a life filled with desire and determination. I have a life that has just begun. Today, I shed my old skin, my old brain, my old body, my old values, and I am born from my creation with limitless possibilities. I am fierce, I am beautiful, I am smart, I am fit, I am desirable, and I am successful, because I can!

About the author
You can achieve anything you set your mind to at any age Follow Kristen on Instagram or read more articles from Kristen on Thought Catalog.

Learn more about Thought Catalog and our writers on our about page.

Related