Hey God, when is it going to be my time for abundance? I don’t want to appear as whiny because I feel like I have a natural-born right for happiness and love, but when? I know that I create my reality with a positive attitude and a giving and loving heart, but how much shit do I need to go through before I see the light of happiness?
I know that faith comes from believing in what I cannot see, but I would like to have some sort of joy while I am still young. I am the first to lend a hand to strangers, family, and friends. When I see someone struggling, I open my front door and heart to help. When I was left to raise my children alone, I rose to the occasion. When I needed to work multiple jobs to give my kids security, I did it. When friends and strangers needed money, I gave it, even when I didn’t have any to spare. When I was wrong, I took accountability.
I have offered my time, my resources, my heart, and my presence to anyone and never asked for anything in return. Please don’t view this as me keeping a checklist, because all the examples I expressed are who I am as a person. But who was there for me when I cried alone with the sheer overwhelming emotions of betrayal and abandonment? Whose shoulder did I have to lean on when I came home from a long day and my children pulled me in different directions? Who kissed my tears away when the doubt of my self-worth was too much to bear?
I’m not asking for material things; I’m not asking you to warp me into someone else. All I am asking for is some happiness. A man who comes into my life and chooses me every day in every way. A man I can go on long walks with to enjoy the sunset and the sunrise. A man who loves adventures and can have a great time with me and no one else. A man who is passionate, affectionate, kind, and never leaves me questioning my value or his faithfulness. A man who isn’t afraid to show his emotions and be accountable. A man who looks at me like I am the most beautiful woman in his eyes and is deeply attracted to me in every way.
You see, God, the last so many years have been heavy on my heart, mind, and body. I’ve worked hard at loving myself, achieving goals, and healing from my past. I want someone I can come home to, someone whose shoulder I can rest my head on. I want a love that stands the test of time. I have so many blessings to be thankful for. Thank you, God, but I’m ready for my forever now. I know that I am just a speck on this mighty planet who shouldn’t complain, but I am tired. You see, God, my past hasn’t been easy—it’s been downright tragic at times. I know everything that has happened was for my greater good, self-love, and strength.
You see, God, I’m just wondering when my time for love will arrive and if I can make a request. I appreciate the abundance of love that surrounds me and the relationship I have with my forever love in advance. Thank you, God.