This Is The Type Of Guy I’m Ready For

Ok, let’s be real for a moment.

Sleek hair, chiseled jaw, clean-shaven – you’re cute, like really cute – and when you slide into my DM’s and start talking to me, I assume that you’re interested. I stalk your profile to make sure you’re not a creep and when I think I could get to know you a little better, we actually have a conversation. So we talk and get to know each other but you’re all guarded up and you’re just in it to see how long this feeling lasts. But then you try your luck anyway, hoping for more out of me when you don’t really want anything too serious. So you string me along and tell me enough just to keep me interested until I let my guard down. And then you tell me you don’t want commitment and that it’s not me it’s you.

But really though – does it always have to end that way?

I’ve come to point where I’m so sick and tired of meeting new people and getting so close to them only for them to tell me that they don’t want anything serious –anything that lasts. And to be honest, I’m so sick and tired of putting their wants and needs above my own – brushing it off like it’s no big deal when so much of my time and effort has been invested into that person. Why even bother in the first place?

So for a change, let me tell you what I want.

To the next guy, I fall for…

When you walk up to me from across the room or chat me up at the bar, I want you to be sincere. I want pure, genuine interest and not just 10 seconds of dutch-courage because your friends dared you to come talk to me. When you buzz me on my Instagram DM, I hope your ‘Hello’ means an eager approach to communication and that even if I take a while longer to reply, I really hope you don’t pester me to reply a little faster (because, you know, I’ve got to stalk you first lol).

When you add me on Facebook and upon accepting you, you say ‘Hi’, I hope my ‘Hi’ back would lead to a ‘How are you?’ and the conversation never ends. When you finally get my number and I reply you in split seconds, I hope you know that as busy as I may be, I’ll always have time to reply if I want to and that you won’t have to worry about me going MIA.

Honestly speaking, I’m ready for all or nothing. I want things that last – relationships, happy-endings, forevers. I can’t do casual and I don’t want casual because my feelings get in the way but I’d rather have feelings intertwined with everything I do than wearing my heart on my sleeve because that’s not really living is it? I want you to tell me that ‘I’m ready’ rather than an ‘I’m not ready for commitment’ bullshit. And please don’t tell me, ‘Right person, wrong timing’ because if the timing is so wrong, I could never have been the right one for you anyways.

I’m ready to be all giddy like a 6-year-old around you, feeling butterflies in my stomach or maybe even the whole zoo. I’m ready for midnight walks or moonlight dancing with the one that makes my heart beat faster. I’m ready for kisses with the same person, over and over again. I’m ready for sky-watching and enjoying each other’s company in silence.

I’m ready for long drives and short getaways because as much as I like exploring alone, I can’t think of anything better than having you by my side.

I’m ready for long phone calls till we both fall asleep and all I hear is you snoring. I’m ready for the heart-to-heart talks with me leaning against your chest and listening to your heartbeat, with you always telling me something new about you.

With all the highs, I’m also ready for the lows. I’m ready for the ‘No, you hang-ups’ or ‘Why was he flirting with you?’ I’m ready for the arguments we have over something so insignificant we made up in that instant, and if it was something huge, I’m ready for the ‘talking things out’ or shouts until I’m in tears and you’re in a rage and we just lock ourselves in the other room. But I never want to go to bed mad at you. I’m ready for the tears, the bad dreams, the worries, and paranoia.

I’m ready for anything, as long as it’s with you.

And lastly, when I say I want you. I mean I want all of you; not in parts or fractions. I’m ready to accept your past, your present and your future. I’m ready to fall for you and fall really hard. Because the thing is, if I give you my all, I’m not going to settle for anything less.

Because I can live without you – I can go through life as I’ve always done and I can move on without you but the thing is, I don’t want to.

I don’t want ‘ifs’, ‘buts’ or ‘maybes’; just ‘Yes, yes yes’.