Please, God, Bring Me A Light

I can feel the ground sinking beneath me. No matter how hard I try to keep my head above it, I feel myself losing my footing, and there is nowhere for me to hold on to.

I can feel myself being sucked below the surface. The weight of the world crushes down on my shoulders, and I feel like the last of the air is escaping from my lungs.

I can see the tears falling down my face and taste the salt on my skin. I know it will do no good, but I continue to let them run because I have nothing left to lose.

I can feel my bones start to break and my ribs begin to cave as the Earth sucks me into its core. The Earth is too big, and I let myself become its victim.

I can hear my voice begin to shake as I scream, but it does me no good. No one is around to help me. I’m way too deep for anyone to rescue me.

And all at once, the world becomes dark. There are no sounds. There are no scents. There is no view in sight. There is nothing but darkness in my future. Please God, bring me a light.

How did I get here? How did I let this world destroy everything I created? Why did I go back to the place I knew wasn’t right? Why didn’t I fight harder? Why did I walk onto quicksand thinking that I wouldn’t fall? Why do I continue to think I’m invincible instead of checking for holes before I fall?

I continue to slip into the darkness, not sure there is a way out. It’s like my legs are rooted to rock bottom, a place I dug myself out from before.

I continue to let the tears fall, finding comfort in the release, thinking the answer might be at the end of this despair or simply hoping that they will eventually decrease.

I continue to feel the pressure on my lungs as the weight of the world crushes down, but I deserve all of the pain. I was the one that thought I had nothing to lose in this twisted game.

As I slip further into this hole, with no end in sight, I ask that please, God, bring me a light.

He says, You may not see it now my child, but you can light your own way. You have been able to all along, you just haven’t believed what I had to say.

He says, You have the power within you to change your own path, but you choose to keep taking the dark one that is full of wrath.

He says, You can pull yourself out of this, there is nothing more you need me to do. The power all along has been within you, this I know of you.

He says, Light your own way. This isn’t the choice I made for you, but I promise you, listen to what I have to say.

He says, Life can seem difficult, this much is true, but the choices that you make for yourself; those are the ones that make it much more difficult too.

He says, It’s possible for you to rise and get back on your feet. I won’t be there to carry you; you must follow my lead.

So shine, my child, He says. Light your own path. Take me with you as you rise up from the evil that you chose for yourself. Learn from your past and continue down the well lit path.