It may have failed, but I pride myself in knowing I tried. I gave it my all. I sacrificed my energy, my rules, my heart and put it all on the line for someone who saw me only as an option. I was ready for a marathon, but now it is more like a sprint. To get away. As far as I can. Before I give out any more energy to someone who doesn’t return the favor. Before I lose more of myself to someone who doesn’t see my value. Before I compromise on more of my worth to someone who doesn’t see what I have to offer. Before I find myself in the thick of it all with someone who doesn’t respect me enough to see his actions were wrong and that he treated me poorly. While it hurt for a moment, it is so much easier to see now that the fog has cleared, I should have ran long before he made the choice for me.
If he makes you feel like you’re too difficult to love, run as far away as you can. Everyone is worthy of love. Everyone deserves the right to speak their truth and voice their emotions. While he might not listen to it or believe what you’re feeling, those feelings belong to you. If you feel like something is wrong and he isn’t helping to make it better. If you feel like you’re going above and beyond for someone who doesn’t give a damn. If you feel like you’re the one always asking for more and receiving nothing but excuses. Run.
If he makes you feel like you’re asking for too much by wanting the bare minimum, run for the hills. You shouldn’t have to beg for his attention. You shouldn’t have to plead for him to ask you about your day. You shouldn’t be on your hands and knees asking for him to notice you outside of the bedroom. You shouldn’t have to remind him not to call you a bitch or plead with him to show you some respect. It is about give and take, and if he is taking everything from you and giving nothing in return. Run.
If he makes you feel insecure in your own skin, run for safety. God made everyone different for a reason. Your mold might not fit into his definition of what he finds appealing to the eye, but that’s okay. You weren’t made to be beautiful for him; You were made to be beautiful for you. It’s what you see in that mirror and feel in your own heart. To the right person, it won’t matter what you look like on the outside; It will matter what your heart looks like. If you find him criticizing your appearance or find him trying to change the way you look.. Run.
If he makes you feel as though you’re not good enough, run for shelter. Everyone is worthy of consideration and decency. If he makes you feel as though you’re not good enough for the title of a relationship or common curiosity. If he makes you feel as though you should be bending over backward for his love, but doesn’t feel the need to do the same for you. If he makes you feel as though your values and beliefs are not even good enough to be listened to. If he makes you feel as though he is insecure with himself, but in turn, takes it out on you. He isn’t worthy of your time, energy or love. He is the one that isn’t good enough. You’re not overthinking it. Run.
If he makes you feel as though you’re the one in the wrong every time, run fast. That will never change. He will never see the error of his ways and will always choose to see you at fault. He will continue to make you think it is you that are messing things up. Even when the sky is blue, he will continue to say it is red with anger, because he is the one that is always right. He is full of rage and will continue to take it out on you because you’re choosing to be there for him. He is full of hate for himself, but he will continue to project that on to you because you have all the things he wants and will continue to tear you down in order to get it. He will continue to twist things in his mind to make them be in his favor and will always play the victim, but you’re the lucky one because you see it now.. You have the option to run.
He may choose to play the victim of his own life, but you’re not the victim of your own. You’re a warrior. You’re strong. You’re confident. You’re beautiful. You’re worthy of someone who will put in the same effort that you put into a relationship. You’re worthy of someone who isn’t afraid of labels or isn’t afraid to tell you when you’re right. You’re worthy of someone who is considerate of your feelings and can acknowledge your presence in their world. You’re worthy of someone who will see all the beauty in you and will appreciate all that you have to offer. You’re worthy of someone who gives a damn and doesn’t make you question yourself. You were fine before him and you will be fine after you run. The most important thing to remember: You’re enough.