Men, Please Stop Using The Excuse ‘I’m Not Looking For Anything Serious’

Couple kissing among pine trees in Nashville
Ian Schneider / Unsplash

There is something so infuriating in a blow-off from a man when they use the statement, “I’m not looking for anything serious..” Of course, that statement is always used as an afterthought. After things have already evolved into something more. After things have already progressed to the next stage in the relationship. After a step has already been taken towards seriousness. But when it comes down to it and can be most confusing to all, what is your definition of serious?

The most frustrating thing about men is their lack of understanding when it comes to women and this misconception that we’re all looking for the same thing. So your buddy’s woman is trying to lock it down and get a ring on it, so ALL women MUST be looking for the same exact thing. We all must be looking for this can’t eat, can’t sleep, reach for the stars type of love that they talk about in chick-flick romantic comedies and want nothing more with our lives than to be consumed with the idea of a future with you. But here’s the thing gentlemen, WE’RE NOT. All women aren’t looking for the same type of seriousness when it comes to a relationship. Don’t think this is a mind game or a false statement by a woman who is just saying this because she was just blown off when I say this, but some women aren’t looking for you to be the top priority in their life.

While some are looking to put a large ass ring on it and want a half dozen buns in their oven right away, we aren’t all the same. Maybe five or 10 years down the road, it would be nice to receive the same type of commitment that you give to your video games, but we aren’t all looking for that same thing right this moment. Some women aren’t looking for love at all. Some women are simply looking to find someone to go see a funny movie with and share some Sour Patch Kids. Some are simply looking to find someone that they have something in common with and be able to fill a void that they are missing. Some women are simply looking to fill their Saturday night with someone who can banter and throw sarcastic comments back and forth with. You’re not a placeholder, but sorry to tell you, some women aren’t looking to make you the top of their priority list because we’re too serious about other things in our lives.

In this day and age where women are running the world, were simply too busy for this Nicholas Sparks bullshit of making out in the rain and dropping our whole lives to be with you every moment of every day, that we would just like to go out for a cup of with a nice guy and have a good conversation about the latest 30 Seconds To Mars album. That is all. We’re not looking to hitch a ride on the red-eye to Vegas or trying to trick you into getting us knock up so that you’re stuck with us forever. We are simply looking for someone who is down for a beer after a long day at work or is willing to listen about what shitty thing their idiot boss did or to go mini golfing and just have a good “non-serious” time. Sex would also be a plus for all parties but remember we’re busy, so don’t get your hopes for it every night because we have other serious things that we need to attend to.

You say you aren’t looking for anything serious, but we call your bullshit. Every girl that you say that to is most likely the girl that isn’t looking for anything serious too. She is the one that isn’t forcing you to talk on the phone with her for four hours every night or buying you the patch to get you to quit smoking. She isn’t trying to change you or chain you to a radiator and never letting you out of her sight. She is the girl that you could probably see yourself getting serious with, but you’re too scared, lazy, intimidated…Whatever you are, you’re making excuses for the women out there who are simply looking for someone fun to get to know. When it comes down to it, you’re going to be kicking yourself for missing out on a really good woman. So think about this…when it all comes down to it, ask yourself, who is the one being too serious? TC mark

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You reread every text.
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he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

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