Remember Me

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Samule Sun / Unsplash

Remember how bad I was at my first impression with you. I appeared in my PJs, not caring the slightest bit of what you thought of me. And that’s after all the bad directions I gave you, guiding you to my house.

Remember coming to see me for the first time at 2am with only 3% of battery juice left but having more than enough guts to trust that you’d have enough battery to call me – and find your way to me.

Remember me when you can’t decide what the fuck to eat or where to go because you were always so sweet enough to let me make that decision, given it wasn’t something so pathetic like grass plucked from the garden.

But when we finally decided, may you remember our very efficient “Barter-trading system” where I’d finish up whatever you don’t eat and I feed you with whatever I don’t. We made a good team – we always did.

Remember me giddy with butterflies in my stomach as we spent nights near the field I grew up playing at – a spot to call our own. Nights where we talked and laughed so much my cheeks hurt but I never wanted the night to come to an end.

Remember the days in history – when Malaysia was given a chance to be great again, owing it all to the spirit of unity and people standing up for what they believe in. That night you told me that we’re living in a great day and age to witness such changes; that our future would be as bright as we believe it to be.

Remember the weekend Prince Harry and Meghan Markle got married. We roamed the streets of Melaka, café-hopping and snacking on street food – the bloody good China burger – and when night came, I got to hold you in my arms from dusk till dawn.

Remember me with eyes full of wonder in a new country with you – where we got to spend the day wandering around foreign nooks and crannies and spent the night under a sky full of stars.

Remember me happy, laughing non-stop at all the little things you do and say to make me laugh. While you’re at it, remember the ‘Anwar Ibrahim’, the way I pronounced ‘bistro’ and the look of bewilderment I gave you when you asked if I knew where ‘Sri Lanka’ was.

Remember me being ballsy enough to sneak into an Atmos cinema for the Infinity War screening and you, despite having sweaty palms and being nervous as heck, followed suit. You were so scared of getting caught while I was too busy enjoying you in such a state.

Remember me daring you to follow me to the Cavells toilet just so that we could spend some time making-out. And most of the toilets after that night too, if we’re keeping count.

Remember prank-calling me, pretending to be a phone operator and asking me to “Press 2 for English” and guess what, being silly me, I actually pressed 2. I should’ve known better but I’ve never laughed so hard at my own stupidity.

Remember me not knowing where ‘left’ or ‘right’ is and only coming to my senses after you point to its direction. Remember me being blurred as heck but so focused on you.

Remember me sober enough to pass you my Number 7 Kristen shirt to wear as we knocked out after a night of quality time over dinner, which included wine, Tangachis, vodka shots and lots of dancing.

Remember me making you the Avocado Banana & PB toast as you made me your specialty scrambled eggs. We drank coffee and for once, spent time downstairs in the dining room because the coast was clear.

Remember the juices I always tempted you with, but I never got to make for you.

Remember the lunches we had, which were absolute torture because we had to be on our best behavior, and the coffee breaks that followed suit just so we could spend that little bit of extra time together.

Remember the day we ended up at the chapati house where we made fun of Mr. Lovebite (he had a huge tattoo on his neck that looked like a hickey) and how you told him that we had to share the mango lassi because we’d end up looking like a “Gulab jamun” (very sweet Punjabi dessert).

Remember all the restaurants you took me to and all the food we got to try together – most of them a ‘healthy’ choice because you knew that’s what I always preferred. But no matter what we tried and how good the food at a restaurant was, I hope you know that for me, the perfect meal had less to do with the food itself – and so much more to do with the person I chose to share it with. You.

When you’re alone in the car or when a song comes on, may you always remember the times we had our sing-a-longs. How you’d transform into this completely different person and broke it down like you are Mr. Worldwide. You were always such a good sport and I’ve never met someone who’d sing with me the way you did – given if it’s a song you knew of course.

Remember the 45 mins phone call we had while you were back in your hometown and even after the cut-off, you called me back and we talked some more. Remember it just being less than 24 hours before you last saw me and even that, we already had so much to talk about.

Remember kissing me through the phone despite the bad WiFi connection, and even though blurry, I still got to see your handsome face albeit through a phone screen – even if it was just a little while.

Remember me happy, laughing non-stop and always finding ways to make you laugh – but most of all, knowing that you were the reason behind that happiness.

Remember all the secret nooks and crannies; EXIT signs we conquered and made ours. Remember all the firsts and how delightful they all were that we went back for seconds, thirds and even fourths.

Remember the nights we drank too much and got home when the sun came up, leaving any memory of the night before a blur and with so much uncertainty. But all I knew for sure was that when I woke up the next morning, you were right next to me. And I sighed with relief, thanking my lucky stars that I didn’t do anything so stupid.

And for goodness sake, please may you always remember the night you pinned me to my bed just so I couldn’t stop you from playing all my cringy cover videos. I was so embarrassed and tried my hardest to push you off me but I had no more fight in me. My stomach was aching from all the laughing and I just had to surrender to such embarrassment, especially with you.

Remember being in my room with me, and the refuge you took from reality. We laid in bed for hours, talking and giggling in between kisses and then crying hysterically because the thought of losing you became my darkest nightmare that came true.

Remember me being yours – because although short-lived, in the time we had together, you were mine.

When it’s all over, remember me and remember the good times because I’ll always remember you. TC mark

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