The Only Relationship Advice Any Girl Will Ever Need

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Do not stay with punks.

Do not marry punks.

There are so many women saying yes to poor examples of men. There are so many women in relationships with men they know are rotten, trying hard to make it work with men that blame their straying eyes on “being a man.”

The ones who you don’t have to guess or investigate to know he isn’t one hundred percent about you. The ones whose deeds and words are showing you plain the things you pretend to not see. Those men with girlfriends or wives, that are up in our inbox that we end up blocking or deleting because we don’t get down like that.

The men that don’t just flirt behind your back but in front your face, that makes you out as the female with no pride and self-worth. The men you make excuses for because the only pride you hold onto is that self-destructive form of love when you say to yourself “I love him for who he is” when in fact that love is a direct reflection of the lack of love you give to yourself.

Ladies, if you can’t get loyalty, what sense does that make? You are worth so much more than that fool.

Even if he’s handsome.

Even if he’s smart.

Even if you’ve done your time with him.

Even if he looks successful.

Some men will justify all their wrongdoings, including cheating on you. Some of us comfort ourselves because maybe we’re yet to determine whether he’s physically unfaithful. But emotional infidelity is real, and a far deeper blow to your relationship. He’s sharing a part of himself he should be sharing with you. His thoughts, dreams, desires and his happiness.

You are worth more than leftovers. You are worth more than giving your all to a man who gives only, occasionally. A real man that loves and wants will be fully invested. It’s not a fairytale. 

There are men out there giving their all, treating their women right, in and out of the presence, giving her that love and attention, with VERY happy women at their side. This is only the reality of women that know and seek what they deserve.

The women that do not allow comfort to keep her put, but stay because they have a man who treats them exactly the way they imagined.

The women that refuse to settle for less. Don’t continue to say yes to men that love you halfway. The men that make excuses for holding back, claiming that they were hurt before. The man that gets annoyed or disregards your requests because he thinks that you want too much.

The men you are afraid to confront the issues you have in the relationship because you are scared to “cause drama” but you know deep down you don’t feel 100% secure with him. The men that act smart, avoid, gas light, withdraw or pretend they don’t understand when you address problems in your relationship. The men that resort to silent treatment to manipulate your feelings in the relationship. The men that prompt you to accept the ample times they fall short.

Don’t commit to men like that, not in a relationship and certainly not towards a marriage, because, men don’t change with marriage. We as women, hope they will, but they don’t, and men hope we don’t, but we do. With every long-lasting marriage is a woman who is able to grow and learn how to adapt and accept.

However, wives in healthy marriages, ensure that what they are accepting and adapting to is worth it, and not detrimental to their own happiness and peace of mind. The beauty of marriage is comfort but that comfort will only be a benefit to you if you are comfortable with the treatment you receive before you said “I do” because that treatment will get worse when the fairy dust of newlywed life settles.

The man who you were courting, that never made time for you in a relationship, will be the man who has even less time for you in a marriage. The man who had straying eyes in your relationship will become bored with time, entertaining other women as a form of excitement and release. The man that drinks and party all night in your relationship instead of spending quality time with his woman, will be the husband who turns to alcohol when the stresses hit the marriage.

Know your worth.

It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together. It doesn’t matter that despite it all, he continues to come home to you. It doesn’t matter if he buys you nice things. It also does not matter that you have a child/children for him because a happy woman is a good mother that produces happy children.  What matters is how he makes you feel in the relationship.

If you feel lonely.

Get out. 

If you feel constantly bored.

Get out. 

If you feel insecure and jealous.

Get out. 

If you’re both always angry.

Get out. 

Don’t trade quantity for QUALITY. Know your worth and never settle for less than immense and utter happiness and satisfaction, because it exists. The best things in life usually come to the people that embrace who they are and pursue what they deserve.Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Kristal is a freelance writer and entrepreneur.

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