Aries

(March 21st to April 19th)

You’re always trying to gather everyone up to play some sort of drinking game and speaking just a tad too loud.

Taurus

(April 20th to May 21st)

The lovable, easy going drunk. Some of the tensions and uptightness you carry around fade when alcohol enters the picture. You’re easy to talk to and people generally love having you at parties.

Gemini

(May 22nd to June 21st)

You’re doing one of two things: gossiping and shit talking someone you don’t like. OR you’re trying to be everyone’s best friend. Sometimes both simultaneously.

Cancer

(June 22nd to July 22nd)

You love drinking and never turn down an opportunity. However, you’re not the best at knowing your limits so occasionally you wind up as the person passing out on someone’s couch. Happens to the best of us!

Leo

(July 23rd to August 22nd)

You’re the drunk person who gets wild, spontaneous, and absolutely dances on tables. Like, literally.

Virgo

(August 23rd to September 22nd)

Normally more reserved, drinking loosens you up enough that you’re (more) comfortable chatting with people you don’t know super well. You’re probably engaged in a passionate conversation about who from history you’d most like to have dinner with and also arguing with anyone who has a different answer because they’re obviously wrong.

Libra

(September 23rd to October 22nd)

You’re very loved and people can count on you to be fun and hilarious, but still maintain a certain level of composure. In the words of Hannah Montana, you get the best of both worlds.

Scorpio

(October 23rd to November 22nd)

Your sarcasm really gets amped up a notch and you’re likely off somewhere making jokes that are too smart for anyone else to find funny.

Sagittarius

(November 23rd to December 21st)

On the PROWL. You’re a flirtatious drunk and always looking for someone to make out with. The drunker you are, the less you discriminate. Just want to make out. Immediately.

Capricorn

(December 22nd to January 20th)

You are usually the designated babysitter (something you aren’t always thrilled with) because you can handle your liquor well and are usually the most responsible one around.

Aquarius

(January 21st to February 18th)

You start talking about conspiracy theories or analyzing people’s dreams, even if they didn’t ask you to.

Pisces

(February 19th to March 20th)

You’re playing therapist to someone even drunker in the bathroom. As the night progresses, you’re likely to pull out your phone to google ‘that poem that you absolutely love’ so that everyone else can appreciate it too.