I’ve heard two good answers to this over the years. One was from a friend who had met the woman he would later marry. He said he knew she was the one because suddenly everyone else seemed like a waste of time.
Another friend passed along this checklist he’d heard somewhere:
- Best friends
- Sleep together
- Make each other better
All those things ring true for me. You might be passionate about someone, but they bring out the worst in you (missing #3). You might respect and like someone whom you don’t feel drawn to physically (missing #2). Or you might like them, and want them, but feel you can’t trust them or that they don’t value you (missing #1). Finally, you might have 1, 2 & 3 to some extent, but still be drawn to other people.
So, when you meet the person who makes you want to “forsake all others,” whom you trust as a friend, with whom you have passion and are your best self — and all those elements are present or seem to be present from their perspective too — that’s your true love.