Take a shot of liquor every time:
- Someone comments on this being the first Thanksgiving you’re spending with your significant other.
- Someone asks, “Why are you still single?” or “How is your love life?”
- Someone brings up your ex, and ask how they are doing (and what happened between the two of you).
- Someone asks, “How is school?” or “How is work?”
- Someone takes a selfie at dinner.
- Someone texts you juicy gossip about somebody else when you’re all at the table.
- Someone begins a sentence with, “Have you been watching the news?”
- Someone talks shit about all the family members that aren’t there.
- Someone says something along the lines of, “I really don’t think this Mike Brown situation had anything to do with race.”
- Someone begins the sentence “Remember when…” and proceeds to tell the same old embarrassing story about you as a child.
- Someone says, “Not to be racist but….”
- Someone brings up immigration and informs everybody about their “expert” views on it.
- Somebody tells you what they are shopping for on Black Friday.
- Someone keeps talking about how much they can eat.
- Someone raises a very contentious political topic in a very angry way, making sweeping generalizations about specific groups of historically disadvantaged people.
Pour one out:
- If someone says something about a relative that passed away recently.
- If someone has a moment of silence for all those who have lost their lives unjustly this year.
- If someone expresses their thoughts for all those who are feeling lonely this year, or are away from family and friends.
- If someone makes a statement about the real history (and genocide) that occurred on that first Thanksgiving, and how we should all remember that.
Finish you drink when:
- Somebody engages you in an enlightening discussion about politics, society, or anything else, really.
- Somebody expresses concern for those who have to work on the day.
- Somebody says why they won’t be going Black Friday shopping.
- Somebody stops someone else from raising a contentious issue that will get people raged, in tears, fighting, or all-round ruining what is if nothing else, A DAY OFF.
Disclaimer: This was just for laughs. Please don’t actually drink this much.