1. The PDA Couple
You know what? The reality is whether you are smitten, in the honeymoon stage of the relationship, or simply just happen to be with a physically affectionate person, PDA is going to happen. It has probably happened to all of us. But when you become that couple that is sucking face every five minutes, especially in front of your family and friends, you become quite the eyesore. And please don’t excuse your behavior with that, “We just forget we’re around other people” crap. It’s simply a matter of respect for the people that you’re around. There is no reason to be so disgustingly all over each other that it makes people uncomfortable to even want to be around you. Get a grip. Also, it’s pretty well-known that if you’re overdoing PDA, you’re probably overcompensating for something in your relationship.
2. The Drama Couple
Is there anything more stressful than being around a couple that is constantly fighting or involved in drama in some shape or form? One minute there is yelling, the next crying; rinse and repeat. I personally do not understand how people like to be in such high-stress relationships but hey, to each their own. Look, nobody wants to be around the drama you have with each other – something I’m sure you think is indicative of a certain type of passion. Really, it’s just pseudo passion. I hope you guys really enjoy each other’s company because absolutely nobody enjoys being around you in any shape or form. Save your drama for the theater, for all of our sakes.
3. The Really Mean To Each Other Couple
Have you ever been around a couple that is extremely mean to each other? To the point you’re like, “Wait, this isn’t funny. This is uncomfortable. Do you guys even like each other?” Endless shots fired that are either used to emasculate or put the other person down or make the other person look or feel stupid. It’s really sad. And it’s really kind of sad for everyone else because they’re left with anxiety over whether they should say something because the whole situation seems borderline unhealthy. It’s so unfortunate that it’s easy to be callous with someone else’s feelings once they are a loved one, but it truly makes everyone around you feel pity. That is of course when they’re not trying to avoid you two altogether.
4. The Oversharing Couple
This couple more than likely already makes you physically ill with their incessant social media shout outs and DDA’s – digital displays of affection. Here’s the thing – very few people really care about what is going on in your relationship. Very few people actually want to know what is going on in your relationship. There is no reason to volunteer information that nobody asked for. Whether it’s always bringing up the oh-so-cute thing they did last Tuesday, or a relationship difficulty that you for some reason believe an entire room filled with people you don’t know, care about, cut it out. Your overshare is forcing eyes to be rolled back to sockets. Stop.
5. The Can’t Go Anywhere Without The Other Couple
Ugh. I can’t think of a single human being who I can spend every single minute of the day with. That human being doesn’t exist. How, and I mean, how do people spend every waking moment of the day with each other? Is that even healthy? You invite ONE of them to something that was meant to be a ONE-person invite only. But lo and behold, they both show up together. You wonder how they even go to school or work without the other. It’s a creepy co-dependency that I will never ever understand. Most of the time this is the couple that only ends up only hanging out with other couples. And even people in (healthy) relationships, find these two exhausting.
6. The Jealous Couple
Some people think extreme jealousy is cute in relationships. Some people think it’s nauseating. I am in the latter camp. The jealous couple can consist of one jealous partner constantly demanding justifications and explanations of the other. Or it can consist of both couples thinking that their very obvious and trite jealousy is somehow showing how close they are. Whether it’s picking on the other for where they’re looking, who they’re texting, and what they did when they were not around, every sane person wishes this couple would keep their dirty laundry to themselves. Nobody thinks you’re cute, and I mean absolutely nobody.
7. The “We Have So Much Sex” Couple
Why people feel the need to air out details of their sex life is something that is actually beyond my emotional and mental comprehension. I have personally always found much of this talk completely inappropriate. If there is something most people don’t actually feel a desire to know – it’s the details of another couple’s private life. Also, much like the PDA couple, if you’re constantly talking about your sex life in such a public way, it is attention-seeking and people don’t find you interesting. The whole thing is unbecoming and of incredibly poor taste.
8. The Competitive About Their Love Couple
There is noting quite like the couple that acts like they’ve got something to prove to everyone, is there? You share something nice that a significant other did for you, and their significant other did it better. You share that they’re going to do something awesome for yourself, they’ll share that their significant other always does that. Every little thing is a competition that is designed to make everyone else feel like they are inadequate compared to them. We get it, the two of you guys are the world’s greatest couple. But why are you trying so hard?
9. The Childish Couple
A moment of silence for the childish couple because they don’t know how incredibly insufferable they really are. Somehow these two people coming together manages to create one annoying and unbearable couple. Whether it’s acting like a bunch of teenagers and making sex jokes every five minutes, or constantly being needy with each other the point of utter disgust, or incessant repugnant baby talk that makes everyone around you feel awkward. This couple is practically a walking repellant for most well-adjusted adults who would rather not die of second-hand embarrassment.
10. The Couple That Is Some or All Of The Above
Somehow, there are real-live couples that manage to be cringeworthy on several fronts. It’s almost as if they are trying to make you dislike them. And indeed if you have the unfortunate pleasure of being around or knowing such a couple for whatever reason, you know that you can only stomach them in small doses. And with large amounts of liquor. But really, for everyone’s sake, these sorts of couples deserve to be shipped off to an island where they can drive each other up the wall. Their level of cringeworthy should not be acceptable in any safe and sane society. Or better yet, such couples should be put under house arrest. They’d be doing everyone else a service.