24 Funny, Ridiculous, And Cringeworthy Columbus Day Tweets

By Kovie Biakolo

I’m just going to leave these here. Funny, ridiculous, or cringeworthy? You decide. P.S. Some of these tweets may be satirical so do not start going cray in people’s mentions without knowing the context. P.P.S. Happy Indigenous Peoples Day!

Christopher Columbus did not become the first president of the United States so I could go to fucking philosophy 101 at 8am on a Monday 🙅

— Benny (@ben_costello) October 13, 2014

https://twitter.com/lawrxn/status/521596605909061632

Why y'all mad at Christopher Columbus for Columbus Day? He didn't make the holiday up

— Shirt Pants (@SirTreyBall) October 13, 2014

Oh sure, make fun of Columbus. Like you've never gone to the grocery store for spices, gotten lost, then murdered several million people.

— Kevin Farzad (@KevinFarzad) October 13, 2014

Christopher Columbus, you the real MVP for giving us this day off👏

— Delia Hellander (@Del_Hell) October 13, 2014

I like how national no bra day also coincides with Columbus Day. If I know Chris, he was def a boob guy and he would really love it.

— THern (@THern25) October 13, 2014

https://twitter.com/davidehrlich/status/521747199953100800

Had Christopher Columbus known Kim Kardashian would one day have 24 million Twitter followers, I'm pretty sure he would have turned around.

— NotKennyRogers (@NotKennyRogers) October 13, 2014

https://twitter.com/DMTryptamiiine/status/521747639378124800

Christopher Columbus walking into your house, asking your wifi password then hacking your system and giving you a virus.

— Lyle Clippart (@Kyle_Lippert) October 13, 2014

All these stores are having Christopher Columbus Day sales & I'm wondering why I can't barge in & get stuff for free.

— justina (@badbitchnojutsu) October 13, 2014

https://twitter.com/PoCBeauty/status/521716511766224897

You've got to hand it to Christopher Columbus, because he would have definitely taken it anyway & then murdered you

— Aparna Nancherla 🇵🇸 (@aparnapkin) October 13, 2014

"Go Redskins!" – Christopher Columbus, 1492.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) October 13, 2014

Meanwhile if Columbus had brought Ebola to America Fox News would be blaming Obama's ties to the Italian community.

— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) October 13, 2014

Tbh you probably wouldn't even be alive if it weren't for Christopher Columbus

— Bradley. (@bread_leg) October 13, 2014

https://twitter.com/MelissaTweets/status/521765222642491394

Spending Columbus Day worried about foreigners with diseases a cruel irony.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) October 13, 2014

https://twitter.com/cristela9/status/521750180433903617

“ Remember, Columbus didn't actually discover America, it was Kanye.”

— Jacqueline ⚡ (@CrackyJacky3) October 13, 2014

Christopher Columbus was a very brave strong boy who invented America. Today is his birthday

— Patrick Cosmos (@veryimportant) October 13, 2014

https://twitter.com/Pat_Healy/status/521711581671866368

if there's one person who should have mackled less, it's christopher columbus

— Rembert Browne (@rembert) October 13, 2014

"Christopher Columbus discovered the Americas much like a meteorite discovered the dinosaurs." -Matthew Inman

— Olivia A. Cole (@RantingOwl) October 13, 2014