Christopher Columbus did not become the first president of the United States so I could go to fucking philosophy 101 at 8am on a Monday 🙅
— Benny Costello (@ben_costello) October 13, 2014
IDG Y WE HAV SKU TMRW N E WAY MY HOME BOI COLUMBUS DISCOVERED MURRIKA WE SHULD PARTY OR MAYB EVN PLANT A TREE DIS DAY MUST B RECOGNIZED
— shawty (@lawrxn) October 13, 2014
Why y'all mad at Christopher Columbus for Columbus Day? He didn't make the holiday up
— Shirt Pants (@SirTreyBall) October 13, 2014
Oh sure, make fun of Columbus. Like you've never gone to the grocery store for spices, gotten lost, then murdered several million people.
— Kevin Farzad (@KevinFarzad) October 13, 2014
Christopher Columbus, you the real MVP for giving us this day off👏
— Delia Hellander (@Del_Hell) October 13, 2014
I like how national no bra day also coincides with Columbus Day. If I know Chris, he was def a boob guy and he would really love it.
— THerndon (@THerndon25) October 13, 2014
the only thing Christopher Columbus ever discovered was Daniel Radcliffe.
— david ehrlich (@davidehrlich) October 13, 2014
Had Christopher Columbus known Kim Kardashian would one day have 24 million Twitter followers, I'm pretty sure he would have turned around.
— NotKennyRogers (@NotKennyRogers) October 13, 2014
Christopher Columbus was a nice guy. pic.twitter.com/Gomg7Xy0P9
— DMT (@DMTryptamiiine) October 13, 2014
Christopher Columbus walking into your house, asking your wifi password then hacking your system and giving you a virus.
— Kyle Lippert (@Kyle_Lippert) October 13, 2014
All these stores are having Christopher Columbus Day sales & I'm wondering why I can't barge in & get stuff for free.
— Justina (@JusttJustinaa) October 13, 2014
— Beauty in Color. (@PoCBeauty) October 13, 2014
You've got to hand it to Christopher Columbus, because he would have definitely taken it anyway & then murdered you
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) October 13, 2014
"Go Redskins!" – Christopher Columbus, 1492.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) October 13, 2014
Meanwhile if Columbus had brought Ebola to America Fox News would be blaming Obama's ties to the Italian community.
— Ann Coultergeist (@OhNoSheTwitnt) October 13, 2014
Tbh you probably wouldn't even be alive if it weren't for Christopher Columbus
— sp00ky (@__Bragg) October 13, 2014
I love America. I'm glad for Christopher Columbus's foresight and bravery. America haters can suck it.
— Melissa Clouthier (@MelissaTweets) October 13, 2014
Spending Columbus Day worried about foreigners with diseases a cruel irony.
— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) October 13, 2014
I just want to steal tweets from people and pass them off as mine in honor of Columbus Day.
— Cristela Alonzo (@cristela9) October 13, 2014
“ Remember, Columbus didn't actually discover America, it was Kanye.”
— Jacqueline ⚡ (@CrackyJacky3) October 13, 2014
Christopher Columbus was a very brave strong boy who invented America. Today is his birthday
— Pat Cosm-o-lantern (@veryimportant) October 13, 2014
In honor of Columbus Day I will go out for Indian food, accidentally wander into a Quiznos and kill or enslave every person there.
— Pat Healy (@Pat_Healy) October 13, 2014
if there's one person who should have mackled less, it's christopher columbus
— Rembert Browne (@rembert) October 13, 2014
"Christopher Columbus discovered the Americas much like a meteorite discovered the dinosaurs." -Matthew Inman
— Olivia A. Cole (@RantingOwl) October 13, 2014