Christopher Columbus did not become the first president of the United States so I could go to fucking philosophy 101 at 8am on a Monday 🙅
— Benny (@ben_costello) October 13, 2014
Why y'all mad at Christopher Columbus for Columbus Day? He didn't make the holiday up
— Shirt Pants (@SirTreyBall) October 13, 2014
Oh sure, make fun of Columbus. Like you've never gone to the grocery store for spices, gotten lost, then murdered several million people.
— Kevin Farzad (@KevinFarzad) October 13, 2014
Christopher Columbus, you the real MVP for giving us this day off👏
— Delia Hellander (@Del_Hell) October 13, 2014
I like how national no bra day also coincides with Columbus Day. If I know Chris, he was def a boob guy and he would really love it.
— THern (@THern25) October 13, 2014
Had Christopher Columbus known Kim Kardashian would one day have 24 million Twitter followers, I'm pretty sure he would have turned around.
— NotKennyRogers (@NotKennyRogers) October 13, 2014
Christopher Columbus walking into your house, asking your wifi password then hacking your system and giving you a virus.
— Lyle Clippart (@Kyle_Lippert) October 13, 2014
All these stores are having Christopher Columbus Day sales & I'm wondering why I can't barge in & get stuff for free.
— justina (@badbitchnojutsu) October 13, 2014
You've got to hand it to Christopher Columbus, because he would have definitely taken it anyway & then murdered you
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) October 13, 2014
"Go Redskins!" – Christopher Columbus, 1492.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) October 13, 2014
Meanwhile if Columbus had brought Ebola to America Fox News would be blaming Obama's ties to the Italian community.
— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) October 13, 2014
Tbh you probably wouldn't even be alive if it weren't for Christopher Columbus
— Bradley. (@bread_leg) October 13, 2014
I love America. I'm glad for Christopher Columbus's foresight and bravery. America haters can suck it.
— Melissa Mackenzie (@MelissaTweets) October 13, 2014
Spending Columbus Day worried about foreigners with diseases a cruel irony.
— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) October 13, 2014
“ Remember, Columbus didn't actually discover America, it was Kanye.”
— Jacqueline ⚡ (@CrackyJacky3) October 13, 2014
Christopher Columbus was a very brave strong boy who invented America. Today is his birthday
— Patrick Cosmos (@veryimportant) October 13, 2014
if there's one person who should have mackled less, it's christopher columbus
— Rembert Browne (@rembert) October 13, 2014
"Christopher Columbus discovered the Americas much like a meteorite discovered the dinosaurs." -Matthew Inman
— Olivia A. Cole (@RantingOwl) October 13, 2014