When We’re At Our Worst

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When are you at your worst? For me, it’s a few petty things and this week two came to pass. The first, when I’m REALLY hungry. The second, when I’m looking for something. Nobody would like to be around me when these two incidences occur. “A hungry man is an angry man,” is a phrase you might have heard, and rest assured it applies to many a woman too. When I am hungry, I am irritable, petulant, and kind of all-round awful to be around. When I am looking for something, I am frustrated, impatient, and almost a little unhinged.

The saddest part about these two things is that in the grand scheme of things, they are inconsequential. Sure being hungry is not great but I am blessed enough to know that my next meal will come from somewhere. And as for losing things, what tangible object can I lose, that cannot be replaced? Very few things. Maybe out of sentiment, I would be very upset that I lost something or were I to lose an official document, it would bring distress for a little while. But sooner or later, I would figure it out.

On Tuesday this week, on my way to class, I misplaced my warmest gloves and given the Polar Vortex that was going on, I was not amused to say the least. I completely turned my apartment upside down in search of one glove. When I finally realized I was running late, I left without it, extremely frustrated, as if those were my ONLY gloves. Then yesterday, my delivery took almost three hours! Yes, 2 hours and 49 minutes hours before it delivered, and my hunger pangs were all too real. I used the app Eat24 – which is really great by the way. And you can text their customer service staff for your order status. And after an hour, when it was supposed to be delivered,  I was constantly texting with the staff in an obviously peevish tone.

While I made sure the staff knew that I was not at all angry at them, and mentioned several times that I know it’s not their fault, it was still not okay to talk to people so impolitely. I am sure if I had seen a video of myself during that wait or during Tuesday’s affair, I would be so utterly embarrassed. Why do I sweat the small stuff, sometimes? And then of course after these two events, I regretted the way I behaved but I know all too well that these types of events are “triggers” for behaving awfully.

What’s the point of the story? Well, you know how they say you should perceive people in situations that are likely to make them mad and see how they react? Well, I think there’s something to that. I don’t consider myself an awful person but alas, I can clearly behave like one. But also, maybe I’ve watched people have terrible days and decided that they were awful because they were just having a bad day or hour or something. I know I wouldn’t want to be judged by my worst hours so maybe I should extend people the same courtesy.

Above all, I have got to practice what I preach especially when it’s difficult, and no matter how small. While I would almost vouch to say it is out of character, because I tend to be coldly silent when I am peeved or angry – mostly because I believe you can never really take words back, I have got to start putting into practice, “The don’t sweat the small stuff; it’s all small stuff” mantra I like to embody. And then maybe I’ll find those worst hours maybe never completely vanish, but at least become few and far between. So that’s something I’m going to keep working on. TC mark

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