1. You don’t need to write a long-ass Facebook status talking about how you’re #SOBLESSED to be in a relationship with your AMAZING significant other. We all know your cup is perpetually overflowing dude, we don’t need to be reminded.
2. You don’t need to go on a rant about how extremely single you are on all your social media accounts. You don’t need to do this hourly.
3. You don’t need to talk about how Valentine’s Day is really all about consumerism and capitalism. We are not idiots; we are all aware. But Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups are heart-shaped this time of year so…
4. You don’t need to pretend this day doesn’t exist. People are getting flowers, eating candy, and crying about not getting flowers or eating candy. If you can’t beat ‘em, send flowers and candy to yourself so you’re not the lonely unicorn in the office.
5. You don’t need to go and see some cheesy-ass romcom that will trick you into thinking whatever it wants you to think about relationships. (All the side-eyes to everyone going to see Endless Love tonight.)
6. You don’t need to eat at some fancy restaurant to prove your undying love. I mean eat at the fancy restaurant – just not to prove your undying love.
7. YOU DON’T NEED TO PROPOSE TO ANYONE ON THIS DAY. (I mean you can, but how cliché is that? Like, come on.) Alternatively, you don’t need to expect anyone to propose to you today.
8. You don’t need to take pictures of your bouquet of flowers, Turkish chocolates, diamonds, etc. and plaster it all over your social networks.
9. You don’t need to spend the entire day feeling sad about “not having anyone.” Valentine’s day is for love – find someone to love. Love your dog if you have to.
10. You don’t need to listen to romantic songs all day either to get all the feels. Or feel the need to be sad because you’re not getting any feels.
11. You don’t need to live-tweet your Valentine’s date. No one wants to know, trust me on this one.
12. You don’t need to shame anyone for enjoying Valentine’s Day. We all know you’re so cool even the polar vortex is jealous of you.
13. You don’t need to feel bad for “all the single people” today. They are single every other day of the year too.
14. You don’t need to make snarky remarks about how people only celebrate each other’s love on a specific day of the year. Firstly, there is no actual way for you to know that. Secondly, don’t be a hater.
15. You don’t need to feel sorry for yourself. If nothing else, remember candy will be half-off tomorrow.
16. You don’t need to stay out till 5 a.m. drowning your sorrows in Tequila. Same goes for Vodka, Rum, and Whiskey.
17. You don’t need to go on Tinder today. (Not just today but any day.) Same goes for OkCupid.
18. You don’t need to tell everyone how much you don’t really care for Valentine’s Day “even if you are in a relationship.” No need to cut yourself on that edge bro.
19. You don’t need to do anything but enjoy the fact that you have another day to live, love, and laugh. And in a small way, that’s always a reason to celebrate.