15 Lazy Things We’ve All Done

1. Calling in sick when you weren’t sick. You didn’t have a good reason like going on a day-trip. You didn’t even need a personal day off either. You just woke up and said, “Work isn’t happening today” and it didn’t. Justification? Marx would approve. Your lazy day was resistance to your estranged labor.

2. Cancelling on a friend, significant other, etc. last-minute because you got home and the couch was just so comfy. Besides you were tired and quite sure you were coming down with something. Better to sleep it off…

3. Refusing to cook for an entire weekend despite having bought groceries to do just that, and having no major time-consuming commitments that prevented you from doing so. But cooking takes effort and the Vietnamese take-out place can deliver in 15 minutes. I understand you.

4. Ordering delivery from a place that is within 2 minutes walking distance from you. Understandable though, take-out requires pants.

5. Struggle-texting with smart phones whilst in bed rather than sitting upright for 5 seconds to send the damn text.

6. Not getting out of bed after hearing that text “beep” because you were already comfortably in bed. If it was important they would call….twice. And leave a voicemail. And send smoke signals.

7. Letting dishes sit in the sink longer than any decent human being should. Instead, you washed and re-washed that one plate, bowl, spoon, and fork over and over again until the sink essentially became a fire hazard of some sort. Or until someone was coming over to visit.

8. Watching a terrible television show because the remote is too far away. 15 centimeters/6 inches too far from arm’s reach that is.

9. Buying underwear instead of doing laundry. (I am just as ashamed as you are.)

10. Speaking of laundry – leaving things in our “clean” basket for days after we’ve done our laundry rather than just folding it right away. Which ultimately leads to having to put it back in the dryer again before we fold it…for real this time.

11. Girls in winter: Making quick trips to the store without wearing a bra because well, it’s winter and you’re wearing a coat so no one can tell the difference. I am not even ashamed of this one. BRALESSNESS FTW!

12. Refusing to go and check the doors to make sure they were in fact locked once you were in bed. Because the thought that someone might break in, is not as important as the thought that you would be leaving your warm bed for 30 seconds “unnecessarily.”

13. Buying something that you ended up not needing or liking but rather than returning it, you decided the effort it would take to return the item was greater than your buyer’s remorse.

14. Eating something half-cold because torturing yourself with  returning to the microwave despite it being a few feet away is just not worth it when your hunger pangs have peaked.

15. Alternatively, going to bed hungry because you were too lazy to figure out what to cook and ordering just seemed like such a pain. Sometimes laziness > necessitates that you need to keep you alive you know?

Plus One: Planning to write, “22  Lazy Things We’ve All Done” but stopping at 15 because well, your brain got tired and stuff…What other lazy things do we all do?