After a very busy Monday, I came across this gem of a YouTube video:
Apart from the use of the “s” word – slut – which made me cringe, I found the video hilarious and was sincerely laughing for most of it. And then it turned into nervous laughter because according to this video, about 80% of the people I have ever liked/been attracted to, have probably not liked me back. And while that is a very real possibility, for the sake of my ego I am going to believe that this is not the case. (Shhhh…denial is a happy place no matter what anyone tells you.)
And then I thought to myself, “Why are we always doing this?” Why are we always asking our family, friends, classmates, random strangers on the bus, and the Internet whether the object of our affection likes us. It is honestly embarrassing that as an adult, I have gone past page 3 on Google, searching topics such as, “How to know if he’s attracted to you” or “How does a guy show that he likes you?” And I like to think I’m not alone in these embarrassing searches. And if I am, again, just let me go on thinking that everybody else does this too. Please.
But Googling whether someone likes me or asking random people who don’t see my interactions with crushes and potential crushes, doesn’t help. And although I tell myself that I am done with playing silly games with people because well, the whole thing is boring. I cannot escape the knots in my stomach, the wondering, and the inevitable “Does he or doesn’t he?” obsessive questioning that goes on in my head when I like a guy. And sometimes I have found out they obviously don’t like me because as Connor says in the video, they don’t perform many of the mentioned “signs.” However, sometimes I find out (usually when they’re over it) that they did in fact like me. But because I’m oblivious to just about everything but a guy practically yelling in my face about how much he likes me, I didn’t have a clue.
We like to think that people behave a certain way when they like us but the truth is that even while some of the things mentioned in the video hold true for some people, people are still different. And the way they’ll try to communicate liking you is not always clear-cut. And yes, I would be willing to put my white flag up, wear my heart on my sleeve, and let my ego face all sorts of punishment, if I knew that other people would be willing to be just as honest. But I’m not because I’d probably be the only one putting my flag up. Not to mention ugly duckling syndrome is really hard to completely shake off, and awkwardness in front of creatures I find attractive is just the nature of my existence.
So here are a list of completely normal and not so normal “signs” I have given when I have liked/crushed on/been attracted to a guy which really all could just as easily be under “Signs A Girl Doesn’t Like You:”
- Ignored him completely. (Haha, I actually do this a lot…)
- Told him I think I’m too tall for him. Even when he may have been significantly taller than me. (Okay, I like tall men. Sue me.)
- Said to Chicago guys I have found attractive: “Chicago guys kind of suck.” (Also: “I need to get out of the Midwest. Guys from the Midwest suck.”)
- Flirt with his friend(s).
- Flirt with another guy that I knew he didn’t like.
- Flirt with other guys in front of his friends in the hope that his friends would tell the guy that I like. (I really am a very strange person.)
- Not given him my number because, “If he really liked me he’d find a way to get it.”
- Given him my number and not texted or called him.
- Given him my number and texted or called him once and then never again, even when the conversation had potential.
- Talked about how attractive some other guy is when the guy I liked was within earshot.
- Avoided eye contact at all costs.
- Stood as far away from him as possible if we happened to be in the same room.
- Ran away when we were in the same vicinity.
You may think I am strange and you’d be right, I am. And I have gotten a little bit better at doing “normal” things when I like people but for the most part, I’m still very bad at it. But at this point, I’d prefer anyone who likes me to just tell me. Because that is the only way I will not feel so awkward around them. And I’m not a jerk so if I don’t like them, I will honestly but gently tell them. And if I they happen to like me too, I’d likely pee in my pants and probably still perform 13. (Just kidding. Sort of.) But if I want someone to come up and tell me they like me, maybe the person I am crushing on/interested in also wants the same? It’s possible. Or who knows? Maybe I’ll die alone. It’s cool. I’m heading to Dunkin’ Donuts now.