Why Don’t You Love Me?

Is it because of my hair? I’ve never liked my hair much either. That’s why I change it often. I always wonder if you notice the changes. I’m trying to get it right – to gauge which style you like. Straight, curly, wavy – tell me what you’d like and I’ll change it. I’ll change if it it’s the reason you don’t love me.

Is it because of my skin? Is it not perfect enough? Do I have a mark that you don’t like? Is it too uneven? Is it not the shade you prefer? I’ll get rid of all my blemishes; I’ll spend money endlessly on the things that will ensure an even tone. If it’s something that I can change to something that you want, I’ll change it. I’ll change if it’s the reason you don’t love me.

Is it because of my body? Would you prefer someone just a tad thinner? Or do you think I need to put on more weight? Or do you not like it’s shape? Are my breasts too small? Am I thighs not small enough? Am I too tall? Am I not tall enough? Tell me what you want, and I am sure it can be changed. I’ll change if it’s the reason you don’t love me.

Is it because of my personality? Am I too loud? Am I too talkative for you? Or do I not share enough? Am I too silent around you? Do you need someone more outgoing? Do you want someone who seems more approachable? Do you want the girl-next door? Am I too much of a puzzle? Should I always be uncomplicated? Because that can change easily; I’ll change if it’s the reason you don’t love me.

Is it because of my character? Does it strike you as too good or not worthy enough? Would you like me to never stand up for anything? Should I never talk about religion or politics or anything else that matters? Would you like me to only be agreeable? Or is it that I am too concerned with things that don’t concern me at all? Tell me what you want me to believe and I change it. I’ll change if it’s the reason you don’t love me.

Am I not beautiful enough? Am I not smart enough? Am I not kind enough? Am I too restless or too settled? Too ambitious? Not ambitious enough? How am I not enough for you? Tell me; please tell me, and then I’ll change. I’ll change so you can love me. Or will you just never love me? Will you never love me, no matter what I change? I’d rather you tell me if this is so. Because I’d rather not have to change anything, for you to find a reason to love me. TC mark

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image – D. Sharon Pruitt

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