For the past couple of weeks, I’ve had really terrible writer’s block. I’ve barely written anything worth publishing and I know that most of what I have written has been lacking. It’s not very often that I can’t think of topics to write about; usually there is always something I want to put forth as a point of discussion. But lately, I just haven’t had much to say. Interestingly, I have been thinking a lot; probably more than usual. I have a habit of thinking too much about everything so when I express that “I’m thinking a lot,” my brain has literally been in overload.
I think in our particular society, we value talking; we value conversation. We associate talking with intelligence, friendliness, attentiveness, and other positive qualities. One of my readings in my Diversity class in my last quarter was about this very subject matter – the association between talking and thinking. I am a talker; I like conversing with people; I have since I was a child. But I’m also a thinker and the moments when I do my best thinking is when I’m alone; away from the distraction of conversing with others.
A lot of people seem to have a lot to say but don’t actually say much at all. In spite of being a talker, I’ve always been aware of this. When I talk, I want it to be useful; and many times I hope that I am. Whether it is to give someone hope or to express an opinion, idea, or event; or simply to inform people – when I talk, I want to improve the silence. But because I’ve found myself in this position as a talker, I’ve often found that when I have nothing to say, people assume something is wrong. And sometimes, something is wrong. But many times, it is simply because I have nothing to say and I am wrapped up in thoughts. I don’t want to be one of those people who simply likes to hear the sound of my voice. I don’t want to talk just to talk.
I think expressing one’s self is very important. But I also think the minute we feel the need to express ourselves simply because we can, rather than because we have something of value to say is how we abuse and overuse talking. I think sometimes when we have nothing to say, even when we usually have a lot to say, we should just let it be. If words come easy to us more often than not then we needn’t force the issue. If words don’t come easy to us then perhaps we should try but not to the point where we are beside ourselves with the need to say something; anything.
Words are powerful. They have made men and women go to war. We fall in love because of them. We write and orate about amazing experiences and people through our words. We live though our words. Sometimes, we even become our words. But every once in a while, our words fail us or we can’t find them. And that’s okay because sometimes we don’t need words. Sometimes we just need to observe, to think, and to experience. Sometimes you and I have nothing to say. And I think learning to be comfortable with that, ironically, can say a lot about us.