You’re not an adult yet because you think you’ve got it all figured out. You’re educated, you’ve got a job, you’ve got some people to hang out with during happy hour and you think you’ve found the secret to life. Really, this mentality is just an extension of your teenage years. You’re pretending that life is predictable and that everything is certain rather being willing to face the fact that you don’t know what tomorrow will bring and that no amount of planning can prepare for you for life’s uncertainties.
You’re not an adult yet because you think that you are owed a certain way of life or certain experiences in life. You think that society actually owes you something because of how much effort you’ve made or because of your perceived talent or privilege. You think that if you play by what you think are the rules, then you are deserving of a prize. You’re not an adult because you expect life to be fair in whatever depiction you choose to frame your conception of what constitutes fairness.
You’re not an adult because you keep making the exact same mistakes. Whatever area of your life you’re seeing a failed pattern, you’re choosing to ignore it. You keep thinking that this time things will be different. But things won’t be different because you refuse to change or you simply think that you don’t need to. You’re not an adult yet because you can’t even see the patterns that have led you to where you are. You’re not an adult because you are completely blind to yourself.
You’re not an adult because you don’t hold yourself accountable. You don’t take responsibility for your intentions, your words, and your actions. When you’re in the wrong, you think that simply by saying, “sorry,” everything is resolved. But you’re not an adult because this how children behave — saying sorry resolves everything when you’re a child. When you’re supposed to be at the age where you are answerable to others, you better believe that saying sorry doesn’t always cut it. People will actually expect you to be sorry with the way you choose to continue to act.
You’re not an adult yet because you think it is okay to not keep your word and flake out and not commit to anything, ever. You’re here, you’re there, you’re all over the place, and unwilling to sign your name to something and oblige yourself to it. You tell yourself that living an uncommitted life is “just how you are” and that you don’t need to answer to anyone. You’re not an adult yet because no one can trust you to follow-through on the most minor promises, even when those minor promises are simply to yourself.
You’re not an adult because you aren’t making an effort to learn how to survive on your own. We’ll always be interdependent on others but instead of seeking interdependence, you’re depending solely on others to make your decisions, for self-respect, for financial well-being, and for self-worth. Everyone struggles with this and some people take a longer time than others to learn but you’re not even trying to learn, you’re sitting and waiting for things to fall into your lap.
But don’t be so upset — being an adult is overrated anyway or at least that’s what you tell yourself. But adulthood is a reality and one that we all eventually have to face. So you can put it off for as long as possible or you can look it in the eye and say, “I don’t have all the answers, I’ll stumble and I’ll need some help along the way but I’m ready for what you throw at me.” And when you say this, there’s no turning back. You experience this surreal and scary moment when all of a sudden, you’ve taken the first real step to becoming an adult.