1. The words, “Swag” and “Yolo” to be removed from popular culture and everyday language.
2. A grocery store that is moderately priced and actually sells organic food that is in fact, organic. (If you knew the crap that is in things “labelled” organic,” we’d all be growing our own tomatoes.)
3. The prices on all Apple products to be reduced by 12%.
4. An end to 93% of all current Reality TV shows.
5. Kim Kardashian to stop being relevant.
6. A new social media platform to be invented specifically for political expression so the rest of who are not political on social media can finally have some peace.
7. A shorter word limit on Facebook statuses.(This is why blogs were invented friends.)
8. A full-proof, idiot-proof, no hassle, immediate cure for the common cold. Come on scientists – we can go into space and destroy the world numerous times over but I still have to “rest it out for a week?”
9. Cheaper airfare.
10. Google Fiber to come to all major cities.
11. A universal or at least, majority-agreed upon definition of “hipster.”
12. One news outlet that actually attempts to give a fair and balanced perspective of news-worthy events. (A girl can dream…)
13. A death to “selfies.” I will never understand how we reached a time where this became a thing. Also, sorry I’m not sorry.
14. For someone to explain where exactly snapchat pictures “disappear” to. (And until then, I’m not going anywhere near it.)