Nope, your toys do not come alive as soon as you step out of the room. And sorry, even if you looked like Gisele, forest animals would still not help you get ready for any stinkin’ ball.
Disney movies have been lying to us our entire lives. And in the real world, there aren’t fairy tales. (Except for you, Kate Middleton. You are the only one.) It’s not to say we don’t enjoy these movies (or still sing along with Ariel and Belle, ahem). But damn, Disney gave us some high hopes when it came to true love and soul mates—Listen sister, if a guy saves you from a dragon, you marry him.
Check out these 11 lies Disney movies told us about love, thereby forever screwing up ourdating expectations.
1. Love at first sight is a super normal thing that happens. All. The. Time.
2. Disobeying your parents to sneak around with a guy you just met will inevitably end with you two getting married.
3. Every girl should dream that a stranger’s kiss will be the key to waking her from an endless slumber (or hangover).
4. Bestiality means finding your soul mate—and it won’t get you arrested.
5. You’ll find The One during your first dip into the dating pool. And you two will live happily ever after.
6. Wishing on stars is what makes dreams come true—not hard work.
7. If you need to pretend to be someone you’re not to get his attention … do it!
8. It’s only when you hit rock bottom that you’ll meet the love of your life. And he’ll be the one to pull your co-dependent ass off the floor and fix all your problems.
9. Don’t plan on living any sort of exciting or fulfilling life—until that someday when your Prince will come. He’ll find you. Not the other way around, sister. Get it straight.
10. Giving up that characteristic/talent/skill that makes you special in order to be with a guy is totally OK. He doesn’t care how dumb you are as long as you’re pretty.
11. All it takes is one simple kiss, dance or duet to know if this dude is The One.