1. You’ve pretty much always felt like the black sheep of your family.
2. Ever since you were young there was just something that seemed different about you compared to everyone else you were “related” to. (Related is in quotes but some days you’re seriously not sure if these people are blood).
3. Like, you’d sit at family gatherings, look around the table, and think is this it? is this who my family is? You’d look at your sibling or family member saying something totally insane or ridiculous and think NO. there has to be some mistake.
4. You started planning the escape from your hometown when you were a teenager. There was no way you were going to stick around.
5. Most of your cousins got married after high school.
6. And you know what that means – you’re the only one at Christmas without a baby, a husband or wife, and/or a house.
7. So everyone just kind of takes pity on you.
8. They don’t really get your whole lifestyle, so they ask you questions. Lots and lots of inappropriate questions.
9. Your love life is one of their favorite topics of discussion. “Have a boyfriend yet?” “What happened to so and so? He seemed nice.” You’re like, uhm the dude I dated like a year ago? Yeah, he’s dead to me now.
10. Then you get all annoyed they even brought it up.
11. So they’re like, oh she’s probably just hungry, which only makes you even MORE pissed. You go to your room and sulk while thinking about how annoying your family can be.
12. Someone’s always trying to get you to join a church group because you’d meet so many “wonderful young men/women.”
13. Or else they tell you about job postings in your hometown they wish you’d apply to. Meanwhile you’re thinking, did you forget I went to college and don’t live anywhere near here now??
14. Every passing moment in these conversations is like a slow torture. Really, you might as well be in hell.
15. You’re basically the only one in your family that’s read a book in the past 5 years that hasn’t been The Bible or something like Purpose Driven Life.
16. One of your older family members uses her Facebook account to share quotes from scripture.
17. And someone’s always posting those passive aggressive quotes that’s like:
18. Or they post something ridiculously sappy just hoping someone will ask what’s wrong.
19. You screenshot that shit and send it to your friend like, “LOL seriously??? smh.” And they immediately respond, “oh, dude, me too.” Then you both dish on the latest gossip with your family.
20. But then usually something ridiculous happens at a family gathering and you realize you’re just as weird as the rest of them.
21. Even though your family can totally annoy you, you realize that you’re kind of glad these people are who you can go back to. You might live totally different lives and you guys might all get on each other’s nerves but you still love them no matter what. Cause that’s what family’s all about, right?