Chill Pope Francis Says All Dogs Go To Heaven

All Dogs Go To Heaven
All Dogs Go To Heaven

Pope Francis has proved time and time again he is the chillest Pope we’ve known and when he declared the other day that yes, actually, dogs do go to Heaven, it was just another thing to cement his status as the most chill Pope to ever exist.

This changes the whole game for Catholics who have historically believed animals do not have souls. Clearly, Pope Francis doesn’t give a fuck about what Catholics have historically believed. He’s in charge now and he’ll declare what is and is not holy and make the rules up as he goes. Dogs? Yes, definitely.

Dogs are cute. Dogs are fluffy. Dogs are loyal and have big funny floppy tongues and they are human’s best friend. Ocourse they go to Heaven, which is basically what Pope Francis said when a kid asked about his dog who recently died.

The kid was like, “So is my dog in Heaven?” and chill Pope Francis was like, “Sure, kid. Why the hell not? But no asshole cats are allowed.” Because as we know asshole cats are all spawns of Satan and definitely not allowed into the gates of Heaven.

Actually what he said was, “Paradise is open to all of God’s creatures.” So maybe asshole cats are still granted access? How disappointing. Guess someone will have to ask him about that one for clarity. TC mark

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