1. All of a sudden you get extremely possessive about random, petty things. The boxed set of Breaking Bad you bought together. The Keurig your mom bought as a house warming present when you moved in together. All of a sudden these things MATTER.
2. Get a hold of people you’ve always kept on the backburner. All those people you werent really feeling before you’re like ‘Hi, want to hang out? Let’s hang out.’ You just want some light positive attention for the moment to take your mind off of the person who just broke your fucking heart.
3. Go into a custody battle over pets. “You work 50 hours a week! Why would you keep George when you won’t even be home to take care of him!?” “You always buy the shitty cat food. You don’t even care what George eats!!” Pets are just like children and this can get ugly in the strangest of ways really quickly.
4. You make playlists with names like “FEELINGS” and “CRY.” You listen to Dashboard Confessional on repeat and every other song from the past decade that have become your go to when you need a soundtrack for your sobbing. You listen to the absolute saddest songs in the history of sad songs. You do NOT want to be cheered up at this time.
5. There’s so much sad, pensive blogging. Your Tumblr becomes reminiscent of your Livejournal days. You go through a weird writing phase where you write or reblog nothing but shitty poetry and random thoughts about dating and relationships. You just have so many fEeLiNgs right now.
6. There’s no inbetween with appetites. You either lose all desire to eat OR you develop the most ferocious desire for heaps and heaps of French fries, chocolate, pizza, anything with an abundance of carbs to keep your mind off of the pain.
7. You go between wanting to update fb relationship status to get sympathy but also not updating because MAYBE YOU COULD GET BACK TOGETHER.
8. You sort of weirdly reach out to friends but then be like, no no I want to be alone but also you’re basically crying for help.
9. You write ridiculously passive aggressive subtweets about your ex or whatever you’re currently feeling. Then after about 20 minutes you delete that shit when you realize just how pathetic you look.
10. You decide to purge your closet/apartment/whatever of anything they remind you of but then that leads to smelling clothing items in the creepiest way. You find a sweater with their scent and all of a sudden you’re transported back to that memory when you two went to Katie’s going away party and you two were so in love and thought everything was going to work out. WELP.
11. SO MUCH ADELE. SO MUCH DRAKE. Together the three of you cry over your failed romances together. Nothing quite represents your pain like “Someone Like You” or “Marvin’s Room.” Seriously, the Drake feelings are so real.
12. You stalk their social media accounts for any sign of life. Even if you’re the one who ended it you’re still on the look out to see who they’re with, what events they’re going to, any sign of happiness basically.
13. You give up on looking a decent human being for awhile. Shower? Clean clothes? You forget the significance of these things. You do whatever you can to get by, to look the least amount of presentable that you can pull off in public.
14. You take up knitting or snowboarding or some other random hobby. Or you start going to places you never used to go to before. You do all the things you felt like you “couldn’t” do when you were dating someone. Well, now you’re single, baby, and there’s no one holding you back! Your new interest only lasts a couple weeks though and you’ll always recall it as that one time you went through that weird phase.
15. You probably watch some animated movie. You can’t do love stories because it’s too raw but you want something that’s going to get a good cry going. Basically, you just want to cry.