Have you ever had one of those nights where you feel as though your heart has descended into your stomach? Oh, let me tell you. It is awful. You feel like nothing is right and you’re not sure if anything will ever be right but still, you are hopeful and patient; waiting without pressure thinking maybe, in the end, everything will turn out the way you want it to.
At least that’s what we tell ourselves in moments like this. We convince ourselves the sadness will eventually dissipate and that everything will be okay. It will be but not without a lot of heartache or forgiveness first. Love is such a tricky thing. It can feel so certain, so secure, in one second then be completely fleeting in the next.
In a moment you can plan on spending your whole life with another person; the kind of city you’ll live in; the types of things you’ll do together in the future, thinking that maybe for the first time in a long time, or ever, you could finally get comfortable here in this emotion. You feel safe. You feel alive. You feel like anything is possible. Maybe you can spend a little time here, you think, and let that guard down. But then realize in an instant that the other person probably wasn’t thinking anything like that at all.
I’m not sure if I will ever figure other people out; their line of thinking, their actions, their secrets. People are mysterious, that’s for sure, but I wish it didn’t come with such a hefty price tag.