I Hate To Admit It, But I Still Think About What We Might Have Been

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Angelo Lacancellera / Unsplash

Ours was a story that we were not able to cherish until it was over.

We met through a mutual friend but did not hit it off right away. I was going through a rough patch in my life at that time, and after a couple of months, he just happened to be there as I was trying to put myself back together.

Yes, he just happened to be there but I cannot think of anyone who could be a more perfect fit than him. He was meant to happen to be there, I believe.

They say we meet people for a reason. If we only knew what that is from the beginning, maybe we could have done things differently. We could have figured the sole reason why we crossed paths and never mind the things that made the situation a little mixed up.

But maybe that’s the beauty of it all— us not knowing what might happen but trying to make it work anyway.

He was a breath of fresh air, the one you would look for when the world starts to be suffocating. He would let you breathe and vent and swear but would still think that you are amazing. He could call you out on your wrongs without making you feel like a disappointment. He was my mirror, boldly reflecting my whole being.

Our connection was built on two of the most important things I was trying to find everywhere— trust and honesty. We were straightforward with our intentions and plans. It was smooth-sailing; not the kind where problems did not exist but the one where we got to argue and express ourselves out.

But we were not enough. We got too comfortable with each other that we forgot to cherish what we had until it’s gone. We grew apart, but no, not in a bad light. It was a decision we had to make until we’re ready if we’ll ever be ready.

Ours was not a story of heartbreak because we were not painfully broken. It was neither an almost for the reason that while it lasts, we were fully consumed in the little universe only we truly knew.

You are the story that will always pop in my mind first whenever people would ask me about something I will always treasure and never forget.

I hate to admit it, but even though we made a fair decision, I still think about what we might have been if we happened at a different season of our lives.

Maybe we can watch our dreams come to life together.

Maybe I can be your number one fan; the face you will look for in a crowd at your events and the one you will thank on your speech as you receive your first award in the industry.

Maybe you can be the muse behind my art, my writings. The one who will read every piece I make and feel the emotion we both stir in each other’s heart. The only face I need to stare at whenever my mind wanders.

Maybe I can be the one you explore the world with and maybe you can be the one I’ll have the greatest adventures with.

Maybe we can go through the journey hand in hand— dreams realized, goals accomplished.

Maybe we get to settle down, start our own family, live in the countryside.

Maybe we can grow old together and reminisce about the life we shared.

I hate to admit it, but yes, I still think about what we might have been. TC mark

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