For Now, I Am Letting Go Of Us

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Nick Karvounis / Unsplash

Today, I thought of you again.

Recounting our memories made me feel like revisiting an old library of us. I’ve heard about temporary things leaving a permanent mark countless of times but I’ve never understood its essence until you came—and eventually left.

Your scent still lingers in my skin. I can still feel you next to me. The way your fingers gently map their way and bring me to places I never thought I would be.

Your voice still resonates in the deepest part of my soul. How your words seem to know the way straight to my heart. And the way you speak to me in silence.

Your memories still haunt me in my dreams. It was like we were able to realign the stars. Like fate was finally on our side.

We became so reckless and didn’t have a care in the world. We played all our cards wrong and hid the tension under our feet.

We thought we could make it.

I will always be indebted for the fire that you started within me. But as my faith in love returns, your role in my life ends.

And we were left with no choice aside from goodbye.

Now, I’m using that fire as my fuel to finally let go of the possibility of us.

To the possibility that maybe we can try again.

That maybe, fate will hand us another set of cards.

The scar you left on me will always be a reminder of the painfully beautiful story that we had.

The stir of emotions our story caused gave my words a whole new meaning.

I will write until I run out of words.

I will write until I forget to remember how it feels.

I will write until it hurts.

I will write while it hurts.

I will write while I still remember how it feels.

I will write while I can still turn these feelings into words.

Your role in my life may have been temporary but you made a mark that is timeless.

I’m letting my words be the lasting reminder of the story that we once had.

Today I’m taking my heart, that I’ve fully given you, back to me.

Maybe one day, if fate decides to bet on the possibility of us, we will meet again.

I hope we will be whole, then.

And we will follow the path that the stars have rightly realigned for us. Together.

But for now, I am letting go of us. TC mark

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