I still remember the time when I was ready to leave everything behind, to forget what was, to change for the better, and to start making new plans.
I still remember how I looked forward in taking a step further. I was too focused on how can I escalate things to the next level, to excel, to push myself to the limit.
I still remember how I used to get drunk on the idea of love, to lose myself along the way, and to put the pieces of my heart back together.
I still remember everything and how much I wanted to just forget and become a different version of myself.
And then you came.
I dived right into you with my heart full of anticipation. You made me believe that change is something that I cannot run away from. That it is necessary for me to drop all the issues in order for me to move forward.
You made me start to realize my dreams. It is with you that I was able to experience being caught up in the moment, to jump in head first, to just be.
You taught me that forgetting the past does not make any sense if my heart refuses to fully accept and let go of what was. That in order to start anew, I must free myself from all the baggage and unchain my hands from the things that hold me back.
You embraced me whenever I fail to give you my best. I failed a lot of times but you gave me another chance. And one more after the other. You reassured me that I can have your time while it lasts. And you stood true to your word.
You never judged me as I wear my heart on my sleeve. You told me that being someone who feels too much does not make me any less of a person; that it is not a weakness.
And I believed you.
You gave me chances at love. I loved too much. Broke my heart into pieces. Left me feeling everything and nothing at the same time. Reached the point of feeling incapable of believing again.
But you gave me the gift of time to heal. And the courage to believe and begin again.
Thank you, 2017, for the great adventure.
While the past years have been great, it is in you where I get lost so bad that I was able to find myself.
It is in you where I came to the realization that to start does not necessarily mean to leave and forget. That a fresh start comes with acceptance, and only with acceptance will you be able to truly let go of what has been weighing you down.
I will start with letting go in 2018.
With my heart full of courage and hands free to receive the amazing things that you have for me.