Mr. Medium and I met up at my favorite bar, a much preferred setting than the stuffy conference room we’d been in the night before. The bartender knew me by name and a dusty pool table sat towards the back. Every night felt like college here.
Honey, do you really think men weren’t after sex before? You think Tinder was the launching pad for them to treat you poorly?
“He sat on me and farted. On purpose.”
You’re just so full of joy and a warm, fuzzy feeling has taken over your body. You must contact everyone you care about to let them know:“i loooveeee youuuuuuuuu.”
I will not numb my emotions and normalize something like this. And you shouldn’t either. This isn’t politics as usual. This is something we should all fear.
Do you know how many times we’ve gone down on hairy men with dank ass balls?
But you and I, we were something. You understood me in a way I hadn’t experienced before. I didn’t have to explain. I didn’t have to hide. You just got it.
Chardonnay: You always make your boyfriend watch The Bachelor with you.
Friendship is not a consolation prize. Some people are not going to like you. Attraction is not always mutual.
Red wine: You’re incredibly sensual. Like, you probably listen to Prince all day long in preparation for a date.