I, like others with cold, dark hearts, do not believe in love. Well, that’s not entirely true. I’m all for platonic love. I love my dog. I love my mother. I love the bar beneath my apartment. I even love the bartender, though a little differently than I love my dog.
However, thinking you’re supposed to be with one person until you die? That a soul mate comes in and sweeps you off your dainty lil’ feet? Check please. I’m good.
But then, when I least expected it, the Heavens parted and God spoke to me with good news. No, not a cure for cancer or that 2016 was just a fevered dream. Something far more important.
The eldest of the Kardashian children, Kourtney, is officially back together with her off-again-on-again 3 time baby daddy, Scott Disick.
Hey now! Hey now!
Hear that kids? Love is alive and well. Hallelujah. Amen.