Ladies, I’m going to burst some bubbles right now and while I would apologize, I think it’s much better you know the truth.
If Casanova isn’t getting hard thinking about you naked, it’s never going to happen.
The friend zone, while a terribly one-dimensional term, is real. Real in that if he doesn’t have an inner desire to sleep with you, he never will. His dick won’t have a change of heart after getting to know you – the real you. Your personality, as dazzling as it may be, won’t change a damn thing.
In the most unsurprising news ever, men have a tendency to place a greater emphasis on physical attractiveness than women do. Now, that’s not to say women don’t place any importance on looks, or that you need to be a Kardashian to get a man’s rocks off. But it does suggest if he’s not feeling you at first glance, he’s probably not going to later on.
However, that’s not always the case for women. Women have often found attraction that doesn’t exist at first can still come later. While having drinks with my girlfriends, I decided to put this theory to the test and ask how many of them have experienced a change in attraction after hanging out with someone for a bit.
All six said they had.
“I had classes with a friend and never, EVER thought of him in any sort of sexual-romantic way. But as I got to know him more deeply, I found myself looking at him differently. He was so hilarious. Like, had me doubled over laughing,” My friend said, explaining how she started eventually hooking up with a guy off-and-on for a year.
My friend Bridgette chimed in, “I’ve been on dates with men I didn’t find physically attractive at first, but after they kissed me, I was.”
So what does this mean? That my friends are horny and willing to give anyone a chance? Or, does it mean for women, attraction is a multi-layered thing?
I called two of my male friends to see what they had to say. I posed the same exact question.
“Have you ever experienced becoming sexually attracted to a woman that you were not first attracted to?”
Both said no.
“I’m gross and want to fuck most people I see though,” Brandon so eloquently stated. He went on to say if, for some reason, he was not sexually attracted to a woman, he wasn’t going to be later on. He said it wasn’t so much a superficial thing as it was based on chemistry.
“I mean, isn’t there some science behind it if I’m not sexually attracted to a girl? Like that maybe she’s somehow related to me and if we procreated, our children would be incredibly fucked up? My body is smart, it’s not trying to have a Cersei and Jaime Lannister situation going on,” Brandon continued.
Are women just more complicated than men? Or, do men have it figured out? Do they rely on the biological instead of the emotional?
Do I know? No. My name is fucking Kitty, do you think I’m going to have a doctorate in this shit? But what I do know is if a man tells you he doesn’t see you that way, Babe, repeat after me:
He. Doesn’t. See. You. That. Way.
There are plenty of fish in the sea, horny salmon that would be THRILLED to swim up your stream, so don’t sweat it too much. Go forth and find another dude who gets erect at the mere thought of you. You deserve it, girl.