Don’t You Just Love Yourself?

Don’t you just love every fiber of your being?

The way your nose gets cold before the rest of you does,

the way you hate cereal because of the way it grinds under pressure,

the way your freckles trail from your chin to your ear like a roadmap,

the way you love to breathe after brushing your teeth,

the way you breathe,

the conviction in which you say “I don’t like that,”

the way you pick at your lips when you’re nervous,

the way you laugh with your whole body,

the way music fills you up,

the way you wiggle your toes in the morning,

the way you think about what you think about and how you think about it,

the way you get up and go,

the way you relax,

the way you give, sometimes more than you receive,

the way you can’t stand the smell of pork,

the way you hold babies like they’re diamonds,

the way you sing along to every song in the car,

the way apples can give you the same energy caffeine does,

the way roses will always be your secret favorite flower,

the way you squint your eyes when you’re tired,

the way you look up at the ceiling before you go to bed,

the way drinking water makes you feel like the ocean,

the way rhyming comes naturally to you sometimes,

the way you sneeze when you have a cold,

the way you breathe after your heart breaks open in your chest,

the way you gasp for air when you’re crying,

the way certain numbers mean something to you,

the way you ask questions,

the way you talk to your mom,

the way being alone makes you feel,

the way being lonely makes you feel,

the way you touch the back of someone who’s hurting,

the way you care,

the way you notice your hair in the mirror,

the way you smile to yourself when you know a secret,

the way you get undressed,

the way you drag your feet in the afternoon,

the way hula-hoops make you uncomfortable,

the way you only like to look at nail polish and not put it on,

the way you walk when you have somewhere to go,

the way you walk when you have nowhere to go,

the ways in which you are vulnerable,

the way you can’t have too many tubes of chap-stick,

the way you love pancakes when you have them,

the way you think Icees are for movies the way hands are for holding,

the way you buy socks depending on how colorful they are,

the way the laundry basket still daunts you,

the way earmuffs feel against your ears when you have glasses on,

the way your thoughts never slow down,

the way you eat throughout the day,

the way you didn’t understand why people liked smelling flowers until you smelled peonies,

the way you make your guitar sing the words that get stuck in your throat,

the way the thought of eating pickles is disgusting to you now,

the way you learned how to debate and hated it,

the way you let go of someone who hurt you,

the way you stray from negative energy,

the way you feel after you fall down,

the way I asked you if you love yourself and you didn’t say yes or no.

There comes a time when you have to make a list of the little things because the big one isn’t enough. The big thing being that all these things make you who you are. And at that point, when you don’t love who you are, when you don’t fully love yourself, you have to start thinking about your little things so that you don’t lose your big thing. You have to really count those little blessings and turn every one of them into a victory. Throw yourself a celebration for the way you take your bad days as they come. And if, instead, you want to throw yourself into a wave of depression, do so only to remind yourself that lungs can and will fill with water and then you throw yourself a life-jacket because you aren’t going anywhere yet.

If today is the worst day of your life, if this is the worst you’ve ever felt about yourself, remember that the worst does not exist without the best. Take some time to think about what your best self might look like, might sound like, might feel like – and strive for that. No one is going to take away life points if they catch you counting little things. Because the truth is, you won’t always love yourself but you won’t always hate yourself either. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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