No one is perfect; everyone makes mistakes. From them, we grow. We break a little and new light shines in. We transform into better versions of ourselves.
But looking back, it’s clear the pain we’ve caused. To all my past lovers, here are my apologies:
1. I’m sorry I projected my issues onto you. You began to look like my insecurities. Your littlest actions confirming my greatest fear.
2. I’m sorry I never let you past my walls. To be fair, not many have ventured past them. But I know that hurt to feel like I couldn’t trust you.
3. I’m sorry I moved away. My mom once told me that if I loved you, I wouldn’t have left you. Maybe I didn’t love you like I thought I did.
4. I’m sorry for the times I flirted with your friends. And you watched on, sipping your beer because you didn’t want to make a scene. Holding in the betrayal you must’ve felt.
5. I’m sorry for leaving you on read. Love is not about playing games; it’s about being vulnerable. I should’ve talked things out instead of trying to make you suffer.
6. I’m sorry for the nights spent with words unspoken. I bottled up what needed to be said. Too often, our bed was shrouded in resentment.
7. I’m sorry for believing you’d hurt me. For all the times I was jealous when you did nothing. For all the times I assumed you meant to hurt me when all you wanted to do was love.
8. I’m sorry I didn’t stand up for myself. You were never met with the fierceness of a woman who deserved the man you needed to become. I never learned how to stand up for the woman that needed her most.
9. I’m sorry I wasn’t ready to treat you well. I didn’t even know how to treat myself well. I didn’t even notice the hurt I caused you.
10. I’m sorry I didn’t know love could look painless. I didn’t realize our fights weren’t love. I didn’t know we could support each other in magnificent ways.
11. I’m sorry I didn’t leave. We both deserved better. You could’ve ended things sooner, but then again, I could’ve too.
12. I’m sorry I didn’t love myself. So how could I have loved you?