Forget Being ‘The Cool Girl’

I hear it all the time with my younger friends; they want to act like the “cool girl,” or they’re scared to express their true feelings to their significant other. But all for the sake of not coming off as the one that cares more because god forbid they be the one that cares more.

We all have an ego, there’s no doubt about that. And in most circumstances, the ego can be a good thing. Instilling self-confidence when we need it at work; driving us to pursue our goals; helping us remember that we deserve the best in life.

But the one area I see it get in the way and wreak havoc, time and time again, is romantic relationships. Hell, I am the queen of trying to give off a casual demeanor in a relationship. Not texting too much, not saying too much, not doing too much; I would try with all my might to seem like I just didn’t care more than the other person. A reply within 20 minutes of receiving a text was simply out of the question.

But all that did was cause me to go a teensy bit, utterly insane. Because I did care. I cared a lot. And trying to act like I wasn’t feeling all these emotions caused me a shit ton of anguish.

So this is a call to the death of the “cool girl.”

Let’s stop letting our egos get in the way. Let’s stop acting like we don’t care when we do. Let’s stop pushing our emotions down and pretending they don’t exist.

Let’s start radically loving.

Love is a beautiful human connection that we’re able to forge that no other animal can experience as we do. Yet we waste it on half-assed relationships and worrying about double texting a guy. Is that what love has come to?

I say, forget that game. If someone thinks you’re too much, then they’re too little. We shouldn’t be tiptoeing around, worrying that we might push someone away. If a person consciously decides to leave your life, then take their departure as a blessing. You deserve to spend your time on this planet with people that love you radically back. That embrace your heart instead of trying to push it away.

Let this be the death of acting like the “cool girl.” You’re so much more than a cool girl, you’re an exceptional beam-of -fucking-sunshine-equipped-with-a-heart-filled-with-endless-love-to-give kind of girl. Let that show.

Dating + Relationship Writer & Coach

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