“Be patient with everyone but above all, yourself.” — Saint Frances De Sales
We’re told to be patient with other people, to be patient in situations that are complicated and need time, to even be patient when boiling water in a kettle. But there’s one person we’re not taught to be patient with that is absolutely crucial to our well-being: ourselves.
When you’re born into this world, you’re born a pure creature of curiosity and innocence. It’s quite endearing; if you ever get a chance to hang out with children, you’ll see what I mean. They have an unfiltered, uninhibited way of looking at the world.
Along the way, though, these children— once you— had beliefs and ideas placed upon them that shaped how they saw the world and ultimately shaped the kind of person they became. Their community and parents, most without even realizing it, constructed a framework in which the child was expected to grow up in. It’s no one’s fault; it’s inevitable.
But we all come to that age where we must venture out into the world and figure out where we fit in (or don’t), decide what our own beliefs are, and search for what truly makes us happy.
And that process is new and therefore downright terrifying sometimes. But nonetheless, it is a process. A process everyone goes through of trying, learning, making mistakes, and growing.
Like any blossoming of a great thing, this endeavor requires patience on your part—loving, tender patience for yourself on this path of self-discovery.
What was once shrouded in others’ beliefs is now coming to the forefront of your reality. It takes time to unearth and really decide for yourself what works for you, not for others.
We all have to go through this process, and it’s completely normal to feel icky in your own skin and completely unstable at times. You’re trying new things and trying to love yourself through it all; that’s not an easy feat. But it’s part of growing up; it’s part of becoming the person you were always meant to be.
You can either be patient—enjoy the ride of getting to know yourself on a deeper level—or try to rush a process that always needed time, a creation of understanding that was never meant to be quick.
The choice is yours.