woman sitting beside brown concrete wall

I Don’t Need You Anymore

I don’t need you anymore.

I don’t need to wait by the phone every single waking hour of the day for a response. I don’t need to have this unfulfilled hope that you’ve changed and aren’t the same person who broke my heart. I don’t need to take into consideration every flaw in a guy I meet because they can never match up to you.

I don’t need to keep using you as my muse in my writing; it’s time I kill you off for good.

I don’t need to be reminded every day that I’m not the one you picked. That I was the one you never wanted to begin with. I don’t need my friends to keep giving me the same sad face when I tell them my mistake of going back to you.

I don’t need to check on you to see what you’re up to. Just because you’re not in my life anymore doesn’t mean I need to keep wondering what you’re doing without me.

I don’t need to toss and turn at night, knowing you’re not here to hold me close when I’m having a bad day. I don’t need to keep searching for your face in a crowd or behind me; I know you’re never going to be there.

I don’t need to keep allowing myself to cry over you when you would never shed a tear for me. I don’t need to keep numbing the pain of the past when I deserve to see a future without you in it.

I don’t need to keep sending you messages, I know I’m most to blame for it too. But that doesn’t mean you should keep responding or starting the first response too. I don’t need to keep getting mixed signals.

I don’t need someone who only sees me as a body instead of a person with a heart that’s barely able to beat from all the shit you put me through. I don’t need to be your dirty little secret anymore, find someone else to lay with you between the sheets.

I don’t need to hear the same people constantly telling me to not go back to you. I want to be able to understand it for once myself.

I don’t need to turn a song off when it reminds me of you, I want to listen to it full volume instead. I don’t need to hate every boy with brown eyesβ€”that’s not fair.

I don’t need your approval of the things I do, say, and wear. You don’t control me anymore. I don’t need to feel the need to be wanted by you anymore when I meant nothing to you.

I don’t need to forgive myself for the mistakes I did this past year for continuing to go back to you. But I do need to end it.

I don’t need you anymore, and it’s time I start believing my own words for once.

About the author
I write about my past and what’s caused me pain Follow Kirstie on Instagram or read more articles from Kirstie on Thought Catalog.

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