LifeGrowing Up

Where She Found Her Love

Her love was found behind the television screen. Where she watched movies with magic fairy dust, princesses and happy endings that tied together like a pretty bow you see on your present Christmas morning.

Her love was found looking through the bloodshot eyes of her father. Whose slurred words and yelling at her mother meant he loved her. She locked her door at night so he wouldn’t come in.

Her love was found in the gravel at the park under the jungle gym. Where boys would pull her hair and push her around. When she went to her mother, teary-eyed, she told her it’s because they have a crush on her.

Her love was found through a mini screen with a keyboard in her hands. Where sending a simple smiley face meant going steady and “I love you’s” written out through text was the new form of romance.

Her love was found laying on the grass looking at the stars. With a boy who she would push off her for trying to invade her. She could see the big dipper from up above.

Her love was found at the end of a cigarette. Who she would have boys light for her only to take it out of her mouth and blow it in her face.

Her love was found with aggressive hands pinning her down. With a boy who only wanted to pleasure her. But all she wanted to do was sleep.

Her love was found between the sheets. With a boy who had the pleasure of discovering her body for the first time. An untouched piece of art. It got smashed when he cheated on her.

Her love was found at the bottom of a bottle. Where she would tilt her head back again and again. Because that was the closest she could get to numbing the pain.

Her love was found face down in a toilet. Because when everything came back up, the numbing pain went away.

Her love was found through strangers with beautiful eyes and sharp tongues. Who would push her around but make up for it with their lips tracing along the bruises they’d put on her body.

Her love was found at 80mph on the highway. And with just one wrong turn she could collide and end it right there.

Her love was found through the arms of friends who wiped her tears when she didn’t have the strength to do it herself.

Her love was found through looking at the mirror. And when she saw the person looking back at her she reached her hand out to touch her and wiped the tears away. TC mark

Related

I write about my past and what’s caused me pain Follow Kirstie on Instagram or read more articles from Kirstie on Thought Catalog.