I always tried incredibly hard to get people to like me as if I had something to prove. But the more I tried; the more people didn’t. The truth was along with trying to convince other people to like me; I was desperately trying to convince myself the same thing. And it’s true people treat you with the respect love and caring you show yourself. When I built a life around others’ approval, I realized A. no matter what I did; it was never going to be enough. B. Someone was always an expert in my life and had something to say about a choice that doesn’t impact them. In leading a life wanting to make everyone else happy, I didn’t find happiness with myself. I would always get caught because of how afraid I was to make a wrong choice and letting others down.
It took a long time to realize, and it’s something I am still learning, that not everyone will like me or approve of the choices I’d make. But what I’ve learned is that few people will love everything I do and everything I am, and that’s where my focus needed to be.
Some people will never care as deeply as you do, some people will never like you no matter how hard you try, but someone else’s dislike or misunderstanding of who you are isn’t something you have to explain or justify or defend. You are who you are, and it is already enough.
The right relationships in your life will be the ones that feel effortless. It will be that which is reciprocated. Everything you invest in the right people will never make you feel empty or depleted because they are giving it right back to you.
There are people in this world who will never hear you, no matter how loud you are, and it has nothing to you with how you’re able to articulate a message, but rather are they at a place mentally and emotionally to understand. You can’t make someone understand or listen or change, you can only control who you are and how you carry yourself, and that’s enough.
Some people will never care about the things that move you or feel things as deeply as you do. But it isn’t your job to convince them to care; you just have to meet them where they are at with empathy and understanding even if they choose not to understand you. Those things you care about deeply are what make you, you. What needs to change isn’t that driving force of who you are but rather the kinds of people you choose. Choose people who understand your soul and make you feel loved and valued and appreciated. Choose people who make you feel good about the things your heart beats for.
And while you may not be everyone’s cup of tea, you don’t have to be. Tea has never apologized for not being coffee. It merely gravitated towards those who chose it.
