A Thank You Letter To My Exes Mother, We Need More Men In The World Like Your Son
RomanceBreaking Up

A Thank You Letter To My Exes Mother, We Need More Men In The World Like Your Son

I mumbled, ‘thank you God’ in many prayers more times than I could count on Sundays. But I never got a chance to thank you for raising the type of man he is and became and meant to me in the time we were together.

Someone whose word was something I could rely on. Someone I could trust without a doubt. Someone who respected women so much, I saw it almost immediately the night we met. By chance, we both stumbled into a bar on a cold winter night and when other drunk guys saw an opportunity among words I slurred, your son stood, waiting, watching, making sure I was okay. With him, I felt safe. Safe had never been a word I’ve used to describe any relationship. I realized very quickly how different your son was from the rest of them.

I saw it in the way he spoke about you and your daughters, in how he acted every day treating me. He was someone who was kind all the time and always showed affection through gestures. For the first time, someone was meeting me halfway with all I gave. I spent so much time wondering if anyone like that existed. Building up the idea of a stranger I hadn’t met yet who only exceeded every expectation when I finally met him.

He was someone so emotionally intelligent and aware of other people’s feelings. He could tell simply by the tone of my voice if something was wrong. He was someone who watched you and his sisters with such a close eye. I fell in love with the little moments when he ran upstairs because his sister’s eyes were red after she came home from work. In the little moments, he ran inside just to make sure you were okay before we’d leave. He was someone who cared as much about family as I did. As I grew to care about your son, I too grew to care about your whole family too. And I am so grateful you welcomed me with open arms. You once told me, “If you’re good for my son, you’re good for me.” And I wanted to honor and respect that because he deserved that absolute best person to stand beside him.

He always put others before himself. Myself. Your family. His friends. I’m you’re your fears mirrored mine watching closely hoping none of his friends would take advantage of his kindness and generosity, hoping people would see that as his strength to value. I always made sure I’d echo thank you every time. As someone who has spent a lot of my life giving too much, I know what it’s like to be used and taken for granted. I never wanted him to feel that way.

He was someone who reminded me chivalry wasn’t dead, that good man still exist. For every bill he paid. For every door, he opened. For every chair, he pulled out. Every time he’d drive me too and from places, no matter how far out of his way it was. For how closely he listened to even the things I didn’t say. Thank you for raising the type of man, who knows what being a man means. He was someone I was proud to bring home to my parents and they loved him as much as I did for everything he did right.

I will always remember your son for all the things he did right.

In the time I was lucky to call myself his girlfriend, he made me better, happier a more decent woman and I would have continued to strive to meet him where he was.

Again, I’m sure your thoughts mirroring my own, “is she good enough for him?” I wanted to be. I tried to be While I believe no one is perfect I watched myself fall in love and any little flaw began to fade, he was someone who came pretty close.

I want to thank you for raising the kind of man who made me believe in love again. I want to thank you for raising the kind of man more people should be like. But the fact he isn’t proves furthermore he is a diamond in a world full of stones.

I speak only in the past tense not because he isn’t that person anymore but because our relationship is simply a thing of the past. He is still the most decent person I’ve had the privilege of meeting. 

Thank you for raising him and teaching him to value honesty. Even when it ended and my heart broke, there was a kindness to his eyes, compassion in his words and a heart that was true and honest. I knew and still know how special he is. And my hope for him again, I know mirrors yours. I hope for his happiness wherever that might be. I pray for his success. That he finds someone who is as good and kind as he is, someone who pushes him to be his best self although I can’t imagine him better.

I want to thank you for raising the kind of man I was lucky to love even if it was for a short while. I grew up hearing my father say, “children become who they are because of the mother (or person) that raises them.” I can commend all of his great qualities but he only became that person because of you. So it is you I owe gratitude and thanks to.

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About the author
Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words. Follow Kirsten on Instagram or read more articles from Kirsten on Thought Catalog.

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