On The Days You Feel You’re Hard To Love, Remember This

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averie woodard

We all have those days where we are hard to love. I don’t care how confident you are or what you look like or how secure you might be in every aspect of your life. I don’t care if you’re in the best relationship of your life with someone who adores you.

We all have those days where we look in the mirror and it’s hard to love the person looking back at us.

Maybe it’s a small flaw we wish we could change physically. Every time we look in the mirror that’s what we see first. That’s what we fixate on.

But the thing we have to understand about flaws is most the time it’s something projected onto us. As children, we aren’t born hating ourselves. Hate is learned. And those things we don’t like about yourself someone taught us to dislike. So it’s up to you to reprogram what you initially might have heard.

Even knowing that and understanding it, we still pick ourselves apart sometimes. Every outfit we try on for a big night we hate and next thing we know our entire room is covered in everything we own.

Maybe we aren’t confident in a choice we made or how we handled a situation. We keep replaying it in our mind how we could have done something differently. Beating ourselves up. If only you knew.

Maybe we aren’t confident in where we are right now because of where we think we should be. We look at where someone else is and it feels like they are winning. But the most important thing to understand is the only race we are in is the one we have with ourselves. That’s the only person we need to compare ourselves to.

Whatever it is you are insecure about I want you to let it go.

You can allow yourself to feel through whatever you’re feeling but when it’s over start again. And you don’t have to start on a Monday or a new morning or a new month. Feel through your insecurities and start again.

Understand we are all going to have those moments that are setbacks. Those moments where we really don’t like the person looking back at us. The moments we make the wrong choice. The moments where we are really mean to ourselves.

I’m telling you it’s okay to feel that sometimes. It’s okay to be unsure. It’s okay that you are having a moment where confidence has completely escaped you. It’s okay if you aren’t where you want to be YET. This is all part of the process.

The truth is we all struggle with different things internally. Things that no one even knows about. Things that we are still healing from. Moments of complete doubt. We all have baggage and regrets and things that keep us up at night. Caught. Between the past and present. Caught somewhere between what’s the next big step and security with where we are, knowing very well average isn’t where we want to settle.

On our worst days, we all want to feel so much better than we do.

We all have weak and insecure moments. And that’s okay. It’s what you do after that moment that counts for everything.

Strive to be better.

Strive to work harder.

Strive to be more successful.

But above all strive to be a little kinder especially to yourself.

We all deserve to be a little kinder to the person looking back at us in the mirror. TC mark

Kirsten Corley

Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words.

But Before You Leave

“Losing you would be like losing part of me, only it’d be losing the best part of me.”

“Even if your voice is shaking, never stop asking for what you want.”

Kirsten’s writings really touch me. It’s like all the things I have ever thought of or wanted to say are expressed through her writing. I resonate with so much of it. It’s so deeply touching, moving, raw and just plain real. There were times reading I teared up because something said just went straight to my heart. I think I honestly highlighted almost the whole book! —Elizabeth

Buy The Book
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This is me letting you go

If there’s one thing we all need to stop doing, it’s waiting around for someone else to show up and change our lives. Just be the person you’ve been waiting for.

At the end of the day, you have two choices in love – one is to accept someone just as they are and the other is to walk away.

We owe it to ourselves to live the greatest life that we’re capable of living, even if that means that we have to be alone for a very long time.

“Everyone could use a book like this at some point in their life.” – Heather
Let go now
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