Fall for the person who isn’t just going to love you. But it is through their love you learn to love yourself. It is through their kindness you learn to be a little kinder to yourself. It is through their forgiveness you learn to forgive yourself for things.
Everyone says you are supposed to love yourself before you can love someone else. But sometimes I think it’s other people’s example we need to follow.
It’s someone else showing us, this isn’t just how I’m going to treat you and talk to you and be with you. This is how you should be with yourself.
Self-love is kind of tricky sometimes when we are all programmed to look at our flaws and the things we think we fall short of. We look at ourselves every single day and get used to all of that. But knowing ourselves so well, we don’t know what it’s like to be seen through the eyes of someone who has never seen us before.
And they look at you and it’s just this moment they are taken back. And they aren’t looking at that thing you are insecure about. They aren’t judging you for the mistake you made last week. They are looking at how attractive are. They are looking at how pretty you are when you laugh. They are notices these little details just watching you and blown away.
We don’t know what it’s like to look at ourselves through anything but judgmental lenses so we are never going to know what it’s like to walk into a room and see ourselves the way a stranger seeing us for the first time might.
Then as someone gets to know you and you formulate a relationship, what begins to happen is that initial attraction gets replaced with this emotional connection. And as they get to know you, they are realizing you aren’t perfect. They notice your quirks and habits and flaws. Maybe they are even seeing some parts of you, those little things you personally don’t like. But they aren’t focusing on that the way you do. What they are focusing on is despite whatever you think you lack, you’re still perfect in their eyes.
And as the relationship progresses and you fall more for each other, they see all of these sides to you and you really get to know each other and they aren’t looking at the flaws they now know of. They aren’t looking at your shortcomings what they are seeing is here is this person who despite all those things is still perfect for them.
You mustn’t look at your flaws as something bad. Because it’s those flaws that make you human. It’s those flaws that make you relatable. It’s those flaws that connect you with others. And it’s everyone’s deepest insecurity that makes them more likable. Because that thing is what keeps you real.
If we all walked around unflawed with big heads we wouldn’t connect to each other and we wouldn’t need someone else.
I hate when people say you shouldn’t need someone because there isn’t a single person in the world who is meant to be alone.
We all need each other and sometimes we need each other to teach us that self-love we sometimes lack.
Fall for the person who is going to teach you to be kinder to yourself.
Fall for the person who is going to teach you to treat yourself better.
Fall for the person who loves everything about you even if you’ll never get there fully.
Fall for the person who makes you better without changing you into something you’re not.
This is the person you are going to fall in love with. And it’s this person who is going to teach you to love yourself.
Don’t fall for that lie that you have to love yourself before someone else can. Because that’s BS.
You have to respect yourself.
You have to like yourself a little bit.
You have to care about yourself.
And that’s because if you don’t have those core fundamentals you’ll let people get away with treating you badly.
But love is learned differently from everyone. And sometimes all it takes is one person stepping up to the plate and teaching this is what you’ve deserved the whole time both from others and from yourself. And that’s the relationship that’s going to change your life.