You Shouldn’t Be More Attracted To Someone Who Treats You Like Shit

God & Man

Dating today has turned into this game of who can care less and show it. It’s turned into the person who has feelings being led on a messed with over and over again. And instead of walking away, we try harder. We all want what we can’t have and there is something appealing about the chase.

But we shouldn’t want someone who makes us feel less about ourselves. We should want someone who picks and chooses when to give us attention. We shouldn’t want someone who makes us feel unsure or leaves us anxiously looking at our phone, as we see bubbles appear then go away again. We shouldn’t want someone who only calls us late at night. We shouldn’t want someone who cancels. We shouldn’t want someone who we know is talking to other girls and makes it suddenly turn into a competition. We shouldn’t want someone who sends mixed signals or only wants a relationship that’s casual. We shouldn’t fall harder for someone who will only be an almost and won’t commit to a date.

We shouldn’t text boys who don’t text us. We shouldn’t blow up their newsfeed just because they did ours. We shouldn’t make snap stories hoping they see it. We shouldn’t tag them in shit because we are thinking of them.

They don’t deserve to be in our thoughts let alone taking up a part of our heart.

We shouldn’t keep trying every time they say they’re busy. We shouldn’t be so easy to forgive when they cancel. We shouldn’t fall for them more when they aren’t catching us.

None of us can control who we end up having feelings for. But we do have a say in how long it goes on for.

We do have a say in choosing someone and choosing the wrong someone.

The wrong person is always going to make you feel like you’re compromising your self-respect to maintain the relationship. The wrong person is always going to make you feel guilty for answering too quickly when they don’t. The wrong person is going to make you analyze things and read the wrong signs as you talk to your friends too much about it. Like you’re trying to convince both them and yourself something is there.

The right relationship isn’t a game of convincing someone. The right relationship is someone who meets you halfway and is sure of you and makes you feel sure of yourself. The right relationships aren’t going to be a mix of good and bad moments and altering how they treat you. It’s going to be someone treating you well all the time.

You shouldn’t fall for people who treat you like shit. But we all do because it isn’t bad all the time. But you have to realize when you’re settling. Realize when you’re trying too hard. Realize when a relationship hurts.

And find the strength to walk away. It’s not going to be easy because your heart cares but your head knows this isn’t right.

Unfortunately, sometimes people like the fact we like them and will never be able to reciprocate it. They like the attention. They like how much you care. They like that they don’t have to try so hard. They like seeing you react knowing they can predict it every time. They like knowing you’ll always be there.

But you shouldn’t be standing still for someone who only hurts you.

We shouldn’t like people who treat us like shit. But we do sometimes.

What you need to realize is when you’re investing time and emotion and energy into someone who can’t reciprocate it, you’re missing out on someone who can and the sooner you walk away from that, the sooner you’ll find someone you deserve who also deserves you. Because the person who deserves you will never make you feel like shit. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Kirsten Corley

Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words.

Related

More From Thought Catalog