This What It Means To Love Her The Way She’s Always Deserved

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It’s a simple touch under the table just grazing your hand across your leg and keeping it there for a while.

It’s pulling her in closer when you’re sleeping and kissing her forehead.

It’s asking how her day is and listening as she vents not taking it personally at all.

It’s the late night conversations where she tells you things about her past she struggles to get through with a straight face.

It’s having these little moments where you see her at her most vulnerable state and she’s shaking and scared and you just want to tell her she doesn’t have to be with you.

It’s learning her. Learning every curve. Learning about every touch. Learning what she likes and what she doesn’t.

It’s watching her closely out of the corner your eye when she doesn’t realize you’re watching and there’s beauty to her being so natural.

It’s learning every quirk. How she hums when she eats, how she needs to sleep with her socks on and snores quietly. That she bites her lip when she’s thinking deeply and touches her face when she’s saying something that’s difficult refusing to make eye contact.

It’s taking the time to really get to know her. Really value her. Show her that you care. Because she doesn’t have to say it but you know she’s scared to let people in. You can see it in her eyes. You can feel it in her touch. You’re close but she keeps even you at a distance. And you know someone must have hurt her so badly to be this guarded.

It’s taking things slow and following her lead and you don’t care if you have to wait a while.

It’s committing without even having that conversation because there isn’t anyone you’re more interested in. And even without having that conversation or drawing any sort of lines, you know she’s just as interested in you and only you.

You see it in the way she looks at you. How you can be across the room and she just makes eye contact and smiles like you’re the only one there. How other people can talk to her and maybe even hit on her but she’s not even interested. Or how she doesn’t even take out her phone around you. How the calls and texts that come in get quickly ignored, she’s showing you, you matter.

And in return, she has your loyalty too. She has your thoughts that wander in a busy day and next thing you know, you’re smiling and you don’t even realize but she’s the one you’re thinking of.

Without even trying to she won you over.

It’s the time you stare at wishing it would go faster so you could see her. It’s seeing her and wishing time could freeze. It’s that moment when you know, this little world you created among each other you need to leave for now but you pull her in close not letting her go asking for five more minutes.

And you think about others and every ending. The word grateful crossed your mind for the first time ever because it was with every ending and every failed relationship and every heartbreak you found her.

It’s learning from each other as much as you learn about each other waking up every day just wanting to know more.

It’s the look she gives you and you’re both thinking the same thing.

It’s a simple touch as she grabs your pinky and leads the way.

It’s whisper in the darkness and you can’t see her but you feel everything about her.

It’s not just a relationship it’s the right one. TC mark

Kirsten Corley

Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words.

This Book Is For You 👇

The cover and theme for my newest book was inspired by the concept of kintsugi. All that is dark or cracked within us has the capacity to be fixed, to be filled with light. We are never broken. We are always becoming. 

“Live a life that is driven; not by fear, but by love.” — Bianca Sparacino

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