If You Feel Alone Because You Don’t Have A Valentine, Read This


It’s one day out of the year where everyone is going to advertise their relationship across social media and they are going to appear so happy and in love. Like it’s perfect.

The flowers or chocolate sent to the office. The fancy dinner they booked weeks in advance. The sappy captions of forever.

The one day people can flaunt their relationship for everyone to see and everyone else supports it.

For others, though it’s that reminder that they don’t have anyone.

For others, though it’s that reminder that the person they care about doesn’t feel the same way.

For others, though it’s that reminder of their ex and overcome with missing them and thinking about the past.

I’m not against Valentine’s Day. But what I am against and what I refuse to feel is a feeling of being lonely just because I might not have something to post or I might not be in a relationship.

It’s a day to celebrate love. But who is to say that is so single handily defined in the form of one relationship. Who is to judge you or who are you to judge yourself so harshly just because someone isn’t sending you something or you aren’t going to some dinner.

If you’re single don’t focus on that, focus on the love you do have in your life. Focus on the people who care about you 364 other days of the year. Think about the words I love you, who you say them to most and the fact you actually mean it.

When Valentine’s Day makes you not want to look at your newsfeed and you feel lonely and not loved, I want you to remember to love yourself. I want you to think of everyone else you love in your life. Let that fill you.

These relationships you see aren’t picture perfect just because they mastered the right filter or have 200+ likes. What we don’t see behind that picture or behind closed doors are bad relationships. You see everyone is making it seem like their relationship is perfect.

I used to look at this couple with lenses that made me feel bad about my own life and my own relationship status. Then one day at 2AM I’m throwing back beers with one of them only to have them confess to me, how they’ve been cheating for 2 years.

Another Valentine’s Day I had the dinner and I was sent chocolate and I had something to post on Instagram but what made me stop was because I knew in my heart, I’d be lying. I knew in my heart how bad our relationship was. It ended with a fight and me laying next to someone crying myself to sleep. I realized I would have rather been alone than with him.

But we don’t post that on Instagram. We post the highlight reels and the good things.

We all know what we see across social media isn’t real but a representation of what we want our lives to be like and what we want others to think our life is like and our attempt at making other people jealous. That’s what social media is sometimes.

So on Valentine’s Day when you are feeling alone and sad remember it’s one day. Remember what you see might not be real, so I ask you to not feel things so deeply and take it so personally.

Being alone on Valentines Day does not mean your life lacks love. Because love isn’t one relationship. Love is every relationship you have in your life and the people who have made you who you are.

If you really want to celebrate Valentine’s Day celebration that. Celebrate the people who love you unconditionally. Celebrate the people who pick you up at your worst and are the three words as before you hang up the phone.

Maybe that’s a brother or sister. A mom or dad. Grandparent. Aunt or Uncle. Cousin. A girlfriend or a guy friend who is a healthier relationship than you’ve ever had in your life.

Don’t allow a single relationship you might not have yet make you feel lonely one day out of the year. Because you aren’t alone.

And when 24 hours is over and a new day begins, rush to the nearest store and stock up on chocolate because it’s 10X cheaper the day after.

But seriously don’t allow everyone else to make you feel less about yourself. You could very well meet the love of your life on Feb 15th. Hold onto that hope. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Writer living in Hoboken, NJ with my 2 dogs.

Keep up with Kirsten on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok and kirstencorley.com

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