16 People Reveal The Brutally Honest Things They Realized After It Ended

Christian Gertenbach

1. I hated you for all the right reasons. And there are a hundred offensive words my twisted tongue could spit, in your direction; except the only thing escaping from my lips are, ‘Thank you.’- Kenzie, 24.

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2. I took you for granted. And I hate myself for that. You were always there for me and I could never reciprocate it. The truth is you were my best friend and now she is and that’s something I have to live with but I do want you to be happy because you deserve it more than anyone. – Taylor, 23.

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3. It’s been almost five years now. We crossed paths for only a moment or two but it was a moment that changed everything for me. Because when I look at everyone in my life I realize it’s you I’m looking for or at least parts of you. And I know we’ll find our way back to each other again. Because despite time and circumstances love doesn’t just go away. – Madison, 25.

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4. I hate to admit there are moments where I miss you so much I almost want to go wherever you are and tell you. I’ve moved on but my greatest fear is the day I get married. I fear walking down the aisle knowing very well I’m marrying the wrong person because I always thought it was going to be you. – Ben, 29.

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5. You were my first real love. The one I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with. But somewhere along the way we just grew distant and I didn’t know how to bring us back to where we were. I knew how much it was going to hurt you when I ended things but it got to a point where it just stopped being fun and became more of a task to maintain. Relationships aren’t supposed to be difficult. I just never thought that would become our reality. – Tom, 26.

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6. I forgave you. For lying. For cheating. For talking to people behind my back. And while I ended it I want you to know how much you took from me. You didn’t just disrespect me, you wasted my time. The time I could have invested in someone who would have treated me right. And you didn’t just ruin our relationship you ruined my definition of love because I thought it was you. I know you’ve moved on and you’re with someone else. Someone I know. Someone who was my friend. I’m not angry but I hope to God you treat her better than you did me. – Megan, 22.

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7. I look at you happy. I see how you moved on. And honestly, it kills me. I knew it would happen I just didn’t expect it to hurt this much. Because I hurt you so bad and even then you were still kind. You still tried. You never stopped caring. You never stopped showing it. And honestly, if I could go back in time and tell myself anything it would be, ‘don’t let her go because you’ll regret it.’ But you live and learn I guess. – Chris, 26.

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8. I cheated. I lied. And you bought it every time never questioning me. You do things because you don’t think you’ll get caught and I wouldn’t have. But when I ended things and you sat there, traveling as far as you did just to get an explanation in person, I don’t know why then was the time I chose to be honest. You looked at me and said, ‘If this mistake is making you better for the next relationship and whoever comes after me and you learn to treat her well and be honest, then that’s enough.’ I knew in that moment it was me who lost something and not you. – Richie, 23.

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9. We each changed. And I couldn’t resent you for it but we couldn’t keep playing the part of what each of us expected and the role we thought we were supposed to. I said it was me when it ended. But it was both of us. Growing apart even when we were standing next to each other. – Mike, 31.

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10. I’m scared I’m always going to look for you in everyone I meet. – Sam, 29.

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11. Sometimes I wonder if any of it was real or things I just made up in my head. When we cross paths or someone brings you up in conversation and I wonder does it hurt when you hear my name too? Do you watch me when I walk away? Do you ever think it wasn’t supposed to end this way? Because I still do. – Taylor, 26.

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12. She never stopped trying. And I was so difficult and I treated her so bad. Why I took out the pain I was feeling from things that had nothing to do with her is beyond me. But I think when you know someone loves you, you know you can get away with a lot. And I just kept pushing her hoping maybe I’d get her to her breaking point. I don’t know why that was a challenge I thought was something to overcome. But I never got there because no matter what I said or did she never gave up on me. I said goodbye because she deserved better. – Joe, 26.

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13. I waited 4 fours to respond. 4 years of unanswered letters she never stopped sending. 4 years of birthday texts that would go ignored. 4 years of things sent to my parent’s house congratulating me with every milestone. I couldn’t face her after what I did. Then when I finally did, she answered immediately in an Instagram message. We met up for breakfast. There was no hostility. There was no mention of the past. She hugged me as we parted ways and said, ‘I’m so happy you’re back. I’ve missed you.’ It wasn’t until seeing her that afternoon I realized how much I missed her too. – Paul 29.

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14. If I could tell him anything I would say sorry. Sorry for using you when I did. Sorry for coming in and out of your life when I felt like it. Sorry for messing with your head and appearing nice but nothing about it was kind. The truth we had been through so much together already. I wasn’t sure if I could handle anything more. – Kirsten 25.

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15. I still get caught up in missing you. Wondering why I wasn’t good enough. Wondering why it was so easy for you to move on and that you did it so quickly. You’re creating this life with him we used to talk about. I hear you moved in together. And honestly, it crushes me because I thought you were the one for me. How do you even try to move on or look at anyone else when the girl you bought a ring for is going to end up with someone who isn’t you. I don’t know how to get over that. And everyone says time but all time does is make me hold onto things I don’t want to forget, that you probably have already. – Greg, 27.

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16. She’s a lot better without me. That’s hard to admit. But I didn’t treat her well. It became a really toxic relationship in which we never were on the same page. She gave me her heart in the beginning and I didn’t care or see the value. I did a lot of horrible things when we were together. And now she’s gone and I’m the one heartbroken, trying to win her back. But she just keeps throwing me the same lines I threw at her and it hurts. – Jake, 26. TC mark

Kirsten Corley

Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words.

This Book Is For You 👇

The cover and theme for my newest book was inspired by the concept of kintsugi. All that is dark or cracked within us has the capacity to be fixed, to be filled with light. We are never broken. We are always becoming. 

“Live a life that is driven; not by fear, but by love.” — Bianca Sparacino

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