This Is What Loving Yourself Really Means Because It Isn’t All Smoothies, Meal Prep, and Detoxes

Avrielle Suleiman

Change is uncomfortable and unflattering sometimes. It pushes you out of your comfort zone. When you want to change any part of your life it requires you to let go who you were so you can become who you are meant to be.

With those changes come relationships that are going to end and a certain lifestyle that no longer fits for you. People aren’t going to understand it. People might even resent you for making necessary changes in your life. When you stop living the life someone else wants you to, that makes them feel better about their own, you lose people along the way.

But wanting to make any change is huge. A lot of people talk about choosing a different life yet they keep living the same mediocre one that makes them feel unsatisfied. Overcome with fear of what they’ll find, they settle.

It’s taking a hard look at yourself a realizing you have flaws and shortcoming and vices and not blaming someone else for it.

It’s taking a hard look at your life and realizing everything you have is a reflection of the choices you’ve made and no one else’s.

It’s taking a hard look at what you’ve done and not resenting the past but realizing ‘I don’t want to do this anymore.’

It’s taking a hard look at where you want to be and realizing you can get there, it’s just going to take some sacrifices.

It’s looking at your bank account or credit card bill and saying I’m not going to spend carelessly. It’s setting a goal for saving and making a point to reach that.

It’s looking at what you do in your free time and if it’s drinking and partying, you have to say to yourself, ‘this won’t get me where I want to be.’ So you pull away. You say no when people invite you out. You don’t fall into peer pressure when someone temps you. You set a plan for how you are going to tackle everything.

It’s realizing the days do matter and to make the most of the 24 hours ahead. Not the time you lost or what hasn’t happened yet or how far you are from where you want to be. It’s looking only at the next step.

It’s ending certain relationships not because you don’t love and care about the person but because they aren’t good for you and they aren’t helping you. And when you cut ties with those people who have always been there, it’s not going to be easy. But some relationships are better at a distance.

It’s taking a hard look at yourself in the mirror and when you play the comparing game it isn’t going to be, ‘do I measure up to someone I follow on Instagram?’ But ‘Am I better than the person I was yesterday?’ Being the best version of yourself will come without jealousy or envy of others because you are so focused on you and your goals and the person you want to become.

It’s taking the time to answer the question, ‘what do I like?’ and not just following the latest trend of what everyone else pretends to like. It’s realizing you don’t have to do that anymore.

It’s not about creating this filtered life you have on Instagram and wanting to make everyone else and feel FOMO. It’s living such a good life you forget you even have a phone.

You take a step back and focus on what makes you happy and if the thing you are doing every day isn’t fulfilling you, you change it. Because you should look forward to waking up every day.

It’s not getting lost in searching for cheap flights and a vacation you need, it’s finding your purpose that you don’t want to leave and you want to work every day because it doesn’t feel like a job.

It’s taking time out of your day for yourself. Where silence doesn’t make you uncomfortable. And being alone doesn’t mean you are lonely. And in those few moments, you simply meditate or count your blessings. Because when you are leading a negative life the first you lose is realizing how lucky you are. It’s a positive shift where you realize everything around you is a blessing.

It doesn’t mean you have to be happy all the time but you do have to be grateful for what you have and not focus on the things you don’t.

When you wake up and there’s something you don’t want to do like for a run or go to the gym but you wake up and do it anyway, that changes you. It’s choosing to fill your body with something healthy because pizza might taste good but you realize you’ll feel guilty after eating it later. It’s about the small choices you make that add up to something greater.

It’s not about smoothies and meal prep and detoxes. It’s about learning to detox the negative things in your life whether that’d people or hobbies or parts of yourself.

It’s realizing exercise isn’t a punishment but rather a celebration of the things your body can do.

It’s following that plan and not winging something last minute because yes, that’s impressive you can but what’s more impressive is sticking to a plan and following through and not letting yourself down.

It’s being your number one cheerleader even if you are the only one. It’s looking at yourself in the mirror and realizing you are taking steps towards being a better you. And you’re doing it for you and no one else.

It’s looking at your story and everything that has made you who you are and taking ownership of it. It’s no longer blaming others and being the victim. It’s no longer playing on repeat the things that have happened that might have hurt or the thing you wish you could change. It’s forgiving yourself. It’s looking ahead now.

It’s looking at relationships and even if there are endings you might not understand and heartbreak you might be dealing with, its understanding that happened for a reason even if you don’t know what that reason is.

It’s putting your phone down when you want to text that person because in your heart you know you shouldn’t push send even if you want to.

It’s respecting the things you feel instead of repressing it even if those emotions are ugly. It’s facing these things head on.

It’s learning to let go of things with grace. Because sometimes to hold onto something new and become better it requires you to let go of something or someone you’ve hung onto a little too tight even if that’s yourself. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Writer living in Hoboken, NJ with my 2 dogs.

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