What Liking Someone Actually Means Because It Isn’t Just Blowing Up Their Newsfeed

Jacob Ufkes

When you like someone it isn’t just about how much attention you give them on social media. If you like their last post. If you open their snap and reply quickly. It isn’t just about answering a text message. If you tag them in things. If you give them a shout out on a certain day of the week. E’ve built those things up to appear like they matter more than they do but in reality it’s insignificant.

At the end of the judge you have to judge people based on what they are willing to do to prove you matter in their life and want you a part of it.

If feelings were that simply defined by social media activity, I can promise you, you’d have a lot of competition. But more than that, it’s about what you are willing to do IRL.

Are you willing to keep your word when you tell them you’ll be there? Or are you going to cancel and continue to text them the whole night?

Do you care about who they are or what they can offer you? Or do you just like the idea of them?

Do you like them because they boost your ego or actually have redeeming qualities?

But more than that it’s about asking yourself, can I fit this person into my life and do I want to?

Because it’s easy to answer text messages and blow up someone’s newsfeed. But this ‘talking’ we put so much emphasis on is bullshit.

Are you willing to go a step further than that?

When shit hits the fan are you going to be a reassuring text message on the phone or are you going to show up at her house with her favorite flowers and hold her as she cries?

When she needs a plus one to an event are you just going to like her pic from that night because yes she looks good or are you going to be the one who is standing next to her?

When it’s her birthday and she asked you to be there is she going to look around the room wondering why you aren’t or will you be standing by her side?

When it’s late at night and she’s lonely are you gonna be the person she can call at any hour or are you going to be laying next to her to pull her in when she can’t sleep?

When she raves about her dad are you going to come up with a million excuses of why you can’t meet him or will you be shaking his hand because you want him to know his daughter is in good hands?

When it’s a Friday night is she gonna just be the call you make when you’ve had a lot to drink or is she already going to be waiting for you at home because you gave her a key?

More than appearing to like her or seeming like you care, are you telling her every single day that she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you?

More than boosting her ego liking some selfie are you telling her she’s so beautiful every single day that she doesn’t needs strangers validation.

When you’ve done something wrong are you finding out through a passive aggressive post or are you talking about the problem and working through it because that’s what you do in real relationships.

When you get hit on at a bar and can very well close the deal, do you stop them because you already have something that’s worth so much more than a one night stand?

When you finally introduce her to your friends and family do they already know who she is because you couldn’t stop talking about her? Or is she standing there wanting to be a part of your life but you aren’t letting her that close?

And when you meet her are you willing to give up the life you have alone to share it with someone or are you just gonna lead her on?

There’s this trend of almost relationships and casual hookups and dating and confusion that I hear all my friends talking about. It seems like everyone is tired of it, yet it doesn’t stop because we allow mixed signals to appear like it’s something more.

We’ve mistaken convenience with flattery. Bordum with interest. Likes with how someone might feel. And reading signs that aren’t there because we want it to be.

More than words, you have to judge someone by actions and what they are willing to do for you.

Like if your phone got taken away would their be a relationship or interest even there or are you focusing on things that don’t matter?

We all want to believe that someone liking our photo means something a little more. Or them tagging you in something means they care. Or looking at your snap story means they are interested.

The role social media plays in relationships we build up to mean something more than it is.

You gotta realize there are people who are going to say all the right things and appear like they care but they don’t. There are people who are going to like the fact you like them and give them attention and that’s all it is. So when they blow up your newsfeed, like your pics, send you snaps, don’t think too much about it unless they are willing to do something a little more than that. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Kirsten Corley

Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words.

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