The Best Relationship You’ll Ever Have Will Only Happen When You Become This Person Yourself

Inna Lesyk

1. When you respect yourself you’ll meet someone who respects you.

What a lot of people fail to realize is when you don’t respect yourself you tolerate a lot less than you deserve and a lot of the relationships we have in our lives reflect the ones we have with ourselves.

2. When you love yourself you’ll meet someone who loves you unconditionally.

When you feel whole and aren’t looking for a relationship to complete you, you add this wonderful thing one top of an already solid foundation. But when that foundation isn’t stable and you base how you love yourself how others love you when they leave they take with them the love you should feel even if they are gone. Whether someone comes into your life or goes it shouldn’t influence the relationship you have with yourself.

3. When you admit what you want, you’ll attract a person and the relationship that is that.

It’s okay to admit you want a relationship or something serious. We are in a generation that wants to downplay everything and keep things casual. But relationships aren’t supposed to be that and the sooner you admit what you really want and not tell people what you think they want to hear, you’re going to get it.

4. When you focus on your needs first you’ll be able to provide someone with theirs.

It’s not about being selfish it’s about making yourself a priority in your life.

Maya Angelou once said, ‘I do not trust people who don’t love themselves and yet tell me I love you. There is an African saying which is be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.’

5. When you care enough about your dreams and goals you’ll attract someone who pushes you to achieve them.

Care about something that isn’t a relationship. Fill your life with things that will make you more appealing when you are ready for one. People will be attracted by your passion for things and that thing that motivates you. That’s what makes you attractive.

6. When you are kind to yourself you’ll attract people who are that genuine.

How you treat yourself, the way you talk to yourself, how you view yourself and if it’s positive and kind will be the type of people you attract. Be the type of person yourself you want to attract.

7. When you’re honest you’ll find someone who can’t lie to you.

There are so many people who are lying and dishonest and tell you what you want to hear. When you come across those people instead of taking it personally, realizing that’s a reflection of them, not you.

8. When you accept your flaws but focus on your good qualities you’ll meet someone who only sees the good in you.

Accept that you aren’t perfect but don’t allow your flaws and shortcoming to control that much of your life. Even with flaws and things you don’t like about yourself you can still attract someone wonderful. Just be wary of the way you talk to yourself because that’s the way people will talk to you.

9. When you commit to the things that make you happy, you’ll find someone to share that with.

Don’t look for a relationship look for what makes you happy and if you’re lucky you’ll find someone with similar interests.

10. When you figure out who you really are, you’ll find someone who wants to know you better.

We are all trying to discover who we are and what we want in life. But once you figure it out don’t try and hide it or be ashamed. Embrace it. If you don’t accept who you are in every form you’ll attract someone you feel you have to keep trying for and you’ll never be truly happy with yourself or anyone else.

11. When you learn fights don’t mean someone is leaving you’ll find solutions.

Understand that it’s healthy to fight in relationships. When you’ve experienced toxic relationships though, people associate fighting with endings and then fear someone leaving. This leads to silence when you need to talk and keeping everything bottled up. But if you understand that fights are healthy for relationships you won’t be afraid of them.

12. When you try a little harder for someone the right person will match your effort.

Even if you invest time and effort and emotions into the wrong people one day you’ll meet someone who is just like you. And you’ll be blown away by what it feels like to have someone who tries as hard as you. Even if you get hurt don’t change who you are because of pain and disappointment.

13. When you let down your guard that connection is vital.

When you’ve gotten hurt a lot it’s normal to be guarded and push people away. But vulnerability is key to forming emotional connections to people. If someone sees you at your darkest and worst and they stay that’s a whole new level of bonding. But you have to be brave enough to not let your past scars make assumptions that everyone is going to wrong you because they won’t.

14. When you become the best version of yourself you attract someone at that level.

Get yourself to a point where you are really proud of the person you are. It’s okay if you are not there yet. It’s okay to admit you need to work on yourself a bit. Even if a relationship is everything you want you’ll never get it if you don’t get yourself to a point alone where you are ready. Sometimes you have to be alone and figure out what you want in a partner before you are ready to find that person and have them stay.

15. When you let go of the past you let someone in who wants to be in your future.

Stop dwelling. Stop looking back. Stop thinking your ex-was the best thing in your life. Because they weren’t. The best person in your life is someone who will never allow themselves to make the mistake of becoming your ex. The best person in your life might not even have happened yet. That’s something to look forward. You heal from the past when you embrace something better. TC mark

Kirsten Corley

Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words.

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